So I'm convinced that this disease that we all live with every day requires a team effort. I'll admit before Emma was diagnosed, I was not one to ever be thought of as a control freak. I was (and still am for the most part) a laid back, go with the Flo, mellow person with a tendency to lean towards the procrastination side of life. So, it came to be quite a shock to my system to have to retrain my brain to become more organized and aware of time management and the "ordered" style of living/thinking. Anyway, I think I took it a little overboard right off the bat and became a bit of a control freak. I grabbed the bull by the horns and did every injection, every finger poke, every carb count, ratio, dosages....all of it...I had convinced myself that if I wasn't the one doing it that (A) it wouldn't be done right and (B) Emma would suffer because of it.
Well, as the years have passed I realized that I am not Superwoman...I'm not Wonder Woman...I'm just Amy...D-Momma extraordinaire. I do need help...I do need breaks...I do have to remember to take time for myself. I learned that old saying of "it takes a village" really is true. I have learned to look at things differently. I of course get that help from Shawn on a daily basis...but I also get help from the school staff and Emma's teacher (who is FINALLY on board with things as far as remembering to remind Emma to bolus goes! can I get a WOOT?!). I get help from local D-families that we met through JDRF. Emma gets help from friends who are there for here. Kids that look at her and see EMMA...not Emma with diabetes...not the girl who wears the pump...not the girl with the Mom who is always hanging around the school at some point or another....just EMMA. I get help from you all...the amazing friends I have made through the DOC.
It breaks my heart to hear about and read about the division that has been going on recently. I love reading all of your posts. It makes me feel like part of the village. I read of other Mom's sending their little ones off to school...stressed...frantic...worried...and I can relate. I read of other Mom's struggling with multiple other medical diagnosis going on and tears fall from my eyes because I wish I could help ease their burden and comfort them. I read of other Mom's walking alongside us on our path to a little more independence with the management of this disease being given to our kiddos...and I feel the same same...I feel grounded...I feel comforted. I could go on forever recalling all of your posts and how they make me feel. Basically I just want to put it out there that I created my blog because I like to write. It was and still is a bit like my own personal therapy sessions. I share my experiences not to get praise or sympathy...I share them because I hope that there is even a remote possibility that somewhere out there in the big bad world...there is a D-Mom...newly diagnosed or even an old pro, and she will read it and feel the bond. I hope that she will feel the same same and be comforted just like you all comfort me. That is why I post things that I write. I owe my friends in the DOC so much and am so greatful for you all. You all have saved my sanity on many an occasion and I hope to pay it forward. In my opinion, that is what's important and special about the DOC.