Sunday, September 4, 2011

Even though...

Sometimes, even though I know that there are a million others out there living basically carbon copies of my own life...
Even though I know in my head that I am not alone...
Even though I joke and laugh and am the queen of sarcasm...
Even though I feel like I am annoying some people in my life who don't live this way if I happen to talk about diabetes a bit too much...or for a bit too long in the conversation...
Even though I get it...
I get the hugs, the smiles, the looks of support...
Even though I try my best not to get trapped inside my own head
Lost in the hurricane of stress and worry...swirling around me...dizzying my thoughts...my feelings...
Even though I pretend like I am ok...by plastering on my best Vanna White smile...
Even though I have a loving family...and some incredible friends...some of which do actually live this life too....
Even though I have all of this in my life
Even though I grab onto this and hold on for dear life sometimes...
Even though I have fallen...many times in the past 3 years...fallen flat on my face...bruised and broken...afraid and weary...lost and scared
Even though I know these things will pass...I know we will be ok...we will make it...we will survive...some people do actually care...some people do actually want to help us succeed...
Even though I KNOW all of these things....
I still struggle with feeling alone...different...on the outside looking in...

6 comments:

  1. "Even though I feel like I am annoying some people in my life who don't live this way if I happen to talk about diabetes a bit too much...or for a bit too long in the conversation.."

    As someone who does not live this way, I am always willing to listen to whatever you have to say. Sometimes you just have to get it out and I will always be here for you. We may be far away but I am just an email or IM away, girl. Again, you, Emma, and any other parent/child having to deal with this are all my heroes. I never knew what life with this was like.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You aren't alone, you've got us all.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Same. The "Hurricane of stress and worry" wreaks havoc on me too.

    Even though I have made connections through facebook and my blog... I still have times that I feel alone. Maybe its because there are some things I still can't bring myself to talk about. (((HUGS))) to you, my friend. You are NEVER alone.

    ReplyDelete