It's the little things in life that make us the happiest. I always knew that was a true and valid statement I suppose. I mean who doesn't get happy to see the sun shining? Who doesn't smile when they hear a baby laugh? Who doesn't love it when someone brings them a nice cup of coffee first thing in the morning? Aside from the Grinch or maybe that grumpy old man from the movie "Up"...I think this statement is true for everyone. In any case though, even though I always knew that statement to be true....it never really sunk in exactly HOW true it is until tonight.
Let me set the stage for you first. Emma had just finished watching a couple episodes of "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody." She had come downstairs to go potty and have her blood sugar checked before going to sleep. This has been our routine for pretty much the past three years. I was standing in my usual spot in front of the stove and Emma was standing in her usual spot next to me. I checked her finger and it was a decent number in my opinion for her to go to bed at...8.5(153)...so I put everything away and was about to head upstairs for the old "goodnight kisses and hugs and tell her what should be on her 'cloud' routine". She lingered for a moment in front of the pantry and grabbed a small packet of fruit snacks...Super Mario 3D fruit snacks to be exact...there's only 2 of them in there...they are only 9g of carb. She looked up at me and said, "Mommy? I'm still hungry...can I have this?" She had this look on her face like she usually does in this situation...hopeful eyes, and yet ready to hear a "No" from me. She was hopeful and yet apprehensive. You would have thought that she was asking me if she could eat an entire chocolate cake loaded down with sprinkles or something. My heart ached to see that apprehension...it was like a slap in the face from a very angry blue haired granny's huge plastic purse. For the past three years I have had to tell her "No, you already had your snack...it's time for bed. Or if it really is that important to you, than I will have to give you an extra needle." For the past three years, I have had to force her to choose between a tiny little extra snack and having to get an extra needle. For the past three years, I have had to see her choose one or the other and see either her disappointment at not getting to eat something....or her having to endure yet another needle jab just to simply be able to eat that tiny little extra snack. It's not a normal thing...it's not normal or ok to have to deny your child food. It's not a good feeling...it's wrong...there is nothing good about it in the slightest.
However, tonight...when she asked me for that tiny extra snack.....
I got to say yes.
I got to say YES!!! I got to see the look of joy and freedom and normalcy in my daughter's eyes. I got to watch her eat a tiny little 9g carb snack when it wasn't even "snack time".....or a "meal time"....or an ANY TIME!!! I got to say yes........and that is worth more to me than any one other than my D-family could ever possible comprehend.
The pump....this little pink, AA battery operated device called something so silly as, "Ping"....this thing has given me back my right to LET MY CHILD EAT WHEN SHE WANTS TO EAT! That is such an incredible thing. It is something most people take for granted all day every day...if you're hungry, just grab something and eat it without a second thought. Well, for THREE YEARS, I have had that right taken away from my daughter. It finally sunk in for me tonight....that we have been given this amazing gift/right again....it's her right again....it's her freedom again...it's her CHOICE again!!! I don't think I could possibly be more happy than I am right now....and it's all over something so simple as being able to say yes to a 9g carb fruit snack.