Monday, January 10, 2011

Am I the only one?

I wonder if I am the only parent of a diabetic kid out there (or a diabetic themselves for that matter) that gets sick of hearing or talking about diabetes. I know we all get sick of thinking about it simply because it is ALWAYS there...either in the forefront of our minds while giving insulin needles, checking blood sugars, carb counting, or during emergency situations and illnesses.....or in the back of our minds while our kids are off at school, playing sports, at playdates, or even just sitting in the other room. It never goes away. It's like that annoying and irritating unwelcome house guest that just doesn't know when to leave...except usually those people will eventually go away too...so I suppose it's not really like them...lol...but whatever, it's really annoying, ok?! Sometimes I would like to just be able to occupy the entire space in my head all by myself. There's not much room in there as it is, so it would just be nice to be able to stretch out in there all alone every once and awhile! Once again i have gotten off my original train of thought...so let's turn back and begin again.
Sometimes I find myself really not in the mood to hear anything about diabetes or even talk about. I get so sick of it! I don't want to talk about her blood sugars, I don't want to hear about ways to make her BG stay level over night, I don't want to talk about how many carbs is in whatever, I don't want to explain that my kid is diabetic to the university student who is coaching her at gymnastics, I don't want to tell people what the signs for low blood sugar are, I don't want to hear about so and so's grandfather who is type 2. Sometimes I don't even want to get my bum up off the couch and go up to her room and check her blood sugar at night! I don't want to refill prescriptions for test strips or needles or insulin. I don't want to go to the pharmacy and pick them up and have the girl behind the counter talk to me about Emma's diabetes. I don't want to hear her say how it's such a shame that Emma's diabetic and give me the sad puppy dog eyes and pat my hand and tell me that it's all going to be ok. I don't want to have to write down every damn thing she eats all day, every day. I don't want to write down her BG's and insulin doses. I don't want to do any of these things anymore. Sometimes I get so sick of even saying the word or hearing the word "diabetes". Even the word "sugar" drives me crazy sometimes. That word used to have such a different meaning for me and put such different visuals in my head whenever I heard it...candy, cakes, cookies, treats, YUM! Now, it makes me think of carbs, insulin, diabetes, highs and lows.
Anyway, I guess my whole point of this post is that I am looking for some validation or something from others in this diabetic family of ours. Am I the only one who feels like this? Regardless of how sick I am of talking/hearing about diabetes from time to time or how much I don't want to do the things I need to do in order to manage my daughter's diabetes...I still will continue to do it until a cure is found. Simply because I love her beyond all measure and I would do absolutely anything for her.

4 comments:

  1. I get that way too. Just today at a birthday party, someone was asking about Elise and if things were "better". Maybe it's not the talking about it I mind, it's the clearing up the misconceptions that gets so tiring. I feel like a broken record and nobody is even listening.

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  2. Heck no. It's a job we have been handed and asked to do something positive with . . . . like educate others. Some days it just gets old being that spokesperson. Like Joanne mentioned, the broken record thing is beyond frustrating. It's okay to complain and ask for a day off. I wish I could give it to you ;)

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  3. You are not the only one...that is for sure!!!
    D is all consuming and a vacation from it is something we all need and may never get.
    But as D mamas, we do what we have to do.
    Hope you guys have a great day!

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  4. thank you ladies...:o) I am so glad I'm not alone in thinking this way. The broken record thing is maddening sometimes for sure!

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