Thursday, January 6, 2011

Just do it

So yesterday afternoon was a stressful time for me to say the least. If you've read my last post, you know that Emma went on her first playdate without me staying there with her. All went well...blood sugars were good..and she had a blast! Anyway, it got me thinking though how important it is in life to sometimes force ourselves to do things that are stressful or make us uncomfortable. I know for me personally (and I'm sure there are others out there), I tend to get complacent and find comfort in the familiar...the normal...the day to day routine of lfe. Before diabetes, i was never that way really...I rarely planned things or liked doing the exact same routine every single day. Since diabetes, that is completely different...i love when things are the same because it means that USUALLY Emma's blood sugars will stay the same too. I have realized though how important it is to change things up and challenge ourselves. I know it may seem like a really minor simple thing....a short playdate. For a diabetic 6 yr old though...that's not the case. There is so much more involved in the planning and that brings about the added worry and stress. I always worry about whether or not I am teaching Emma the right things in life. Whether I am teaching her the necessary tools to be able to manage her life and her diabetes when she is older. I am proud of us and what we did yesterday. I think I taught her that she can handle things...she can have a good time with friends and still remember to look after her own health. I once again taught myself that I am in fact stronger than I thought I was. I made it through that stress and that uncomfortable feeling...and she came home to me in one piece. I tend to panic and have these horrible visions in my head of what COULD happen. It literally is like a movie screen in my head showing me getting a phone call telling me that Emma passed out from being too low...or me running to the car and speeding over to the friends house because something happened to Emma. Its horrible that I do this...I can't stop it though...I wish I could just close the curtains on the stupid movie screen that is my brain. We made it though...we endured the stress and made it through the other side ok. No matter how uncomfortable that feeling is in the height of that moment of stress...I think it is important to stick with it...sit in the midst of it and just feel with it...prove to yourself that you in fact CAN do CAN wade through the nasty panicked can handle it and everything will be will be that much stronger at the end of it and confident in your ability. Perseverance is such a great thing to have I think. Diabetes has most definitely given me that ability and I am greatful. As much as I hated that stressfulness of yesterday...I am thankful that I was able to persevere.

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