Thursday, November 25, 2010

My families...Canadian, American, and diabetic

Well, today is Thanksgiving in the States...and I am American...but I live in Canada...and have lived here for almost 10 years now. This is one holiday that I will never get used to. Thanksgiving in Canada is actually before Halloween here, which is VERY odd to me. I am so used to it being in November. In any case, it has gotten me thinking about everything that has happened this week and everything that I am thankful for. I am completely overwhelmed by the amount of support I get from people in our "diabetic family" here. It has always been difficult for me to deal with not having my family here in Canada with us. I miss them a lot and it only seems to get more and more hard to deal with as the years go on. I miss my mom and my dad. I miss everyone. I deal with feeling completely guilty for not choosing to live in a place where Emma can have her Nana and Papa in her life every day. It's my fault and my decision that has caused this to not be the case for her. My husband's father really is not involved and has not been involved in Emma's or our lives from the time she was born. He randomly comes around or calls...but really has not ever been an actual "Grandpa" to her. It's pretty sad actually because my husband's Mom passed away before Emma was born she never got to meet her. I feel guilty about it a lot because not only is it my fault that Emma doesnt have Grandparents in her life...but it is also my fault that I have taken away my parents getting to experience having Emma in their lives too. It's hard and something I struggle with a lot...especially during holidays and special times like school events or gymnastics events. I see other kids...friends of Emma's with their Grandparents...and it makes me sad that Emma doesn't have that.
In any case, even though we don't have much in the way of family here...we do have some pretty amazing friends! Funny thing is...I probably never would have met any of them had Emma not been diagnosed with diabetes. These women are all amazing. They are fellow Mom's of diabetics...and our soon to be Mom dietician from the diabetes clinc.. :o) They are all unique and special in their own way. They all understand the thoughts and feelings and experiences we have on a daily basis because they have been there themselves. They support me in ways that my family would if they were here, which is amazing to me because I have only known some of them for a couple of years...compared to knowing my family for almost 34 years! I know that I can always count on them for advice or a laugh or even a shoulder to cry on when I need it the most. I hope they know how much they mean to me.
I find it funny how in life certain people are brought together for whatever reason. I'm a big believer in fate. I never would have thought 20 years...15 years...or even 10 years ago that I would be where I am at now. I never would have thought that my child would be diabetic. I never would have thought that I would be surrounded by these amazing people that I now think of as family. I never thought that diabetes would be a word I use daily. I never thought that this would be my purpose in life. Things all happen for a reason though...and whatever that reason may be in my life, I can honestly say that I am lucky to have the people with me that I do to come along for the ride.

1 comment:

  1. See, I think it's weird that Thanksgiving is so close to Christmas... you hardly have time to catch your breath!

    We've been in the U.S. for 10 years now and I don't think I'll ever get used to it either.