Saturday, November 13, 2010

The eyes of the world...

Today we went to a Family fun day event put together by JDRF. It was really great to spend time with some of the other diabetic families in our area and Emma had a blast playing at the indoor playground. It's nice to have these families in our lives. It's nice to be able to sit on a bench and talk with another mom who understands. It's nice to not have to feel like we are the odd ones out when I stop Emma from playing for a minute to check her blood sugar. I have said it many times before, but I don't know what I would have done these past 2 and a half years without having these other moms in my life. It really is like a family to me. We are all connected on such a deep emotional level that it really is amazing. There are some of us who have been dealing with this disease for a lot longer than others...and some who are brand new. We are all together in this journey. I find it interesting just looking into the eyes of these women while talking to them and seeing something I recognize in myself. The newer eyes still have the look of sadness, worry, stress, exhaustion, and sometimes guilt. I can look into their eyes and see myself at that point (and still at some moments now!). It brings all of those emotions back up to the hurts my heart so much that they are now with us in this fight. Those eyes look like they wish that they could just wake up from this nightmare and have everything be back to normal...back to how it was before the doctor told them their baby was diabetic. I wish i could tell them that they have more strength in themselves then they could have ever imagined. I wish I could change it for them...i will be there to help them anytime they need me.
Then I look into the eyes of a mom who is at the same point in this fight as me. I see a bit of confidence, familiarity, strength beyond all measure, still worry and stress, still tiredness, a knowingness of how far we've come and how much we've endured, a worry of what is yet to come, a bit of peace and acceptance of it all. Looking into these eyes is like putting on your favourite sweater...its comforting, warm, familiar. I can look into these eyes and KNOW in my heart and soul that I am not alone...I will always have these women in my life to help me and be there for me. I will always help and be there for all of these women too.
Then i look into the eyes of a mom who is at a point in this journey far beyond me. She has been at this so much longer than I can relate to. In these eyes I see worry and stress and tiredness still...but I also see a strong confident woman. I look into these eyes and I see endurance beyond anything that I can imagine. It makes me feel like I can do this too when I look into their eyes. It gives me hope and confidence.
These women are all very special to me. I hope on some level at some point in time I can be as important to them as they are to me. That is all we have in life really....each other. All of the STUFF we have doesn't really amount to anything in the end. I think that it is all about WHO we have in our lives...who has made an impact on us and our souls deep down where no one could possibly understand unless they are dealing with it themselves. It's about who WE have made an impact on as well. That is all I care about..surrounding myself with truly good to the core people. Being there for someone who needs help. That is what I love about life...

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