Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The DOC, just not the same safe place for me lately

OK, maybe it's because I am tired....4 hours of sleep will do that to you. Or maybe it's because I am typically and unfortunately an overly sensitive person. Or maybe I am just off my rocker...which is entirely possible................but I have noticed something that I wanted to write about.
I would like to know why there seems to be so much division amongst members of the DOC. Why am I constantly coming across statements made by people that are rude, angry, and a bit self-righteous? Why do we as members of this community find ourselves having such issue with things that other people say...that we will take it to the point of arguing...or belittling...or making it into a competition? Why do I seem to get a sense of elitism...some believing that they are better than others? Why do I find that even in the DOC there seems to be cliques? Why do I find myself feeling like I am back in high school trying to "fit in" or "be accepted" by some of these people?
It's ridiculous to me that we all can't just get along and respect each others opinions and methods of managing this beast of a disease. It's ridiculous to me why we can't come together as a community and focus on being there for each other...supporting each other even if we do not agree or understand where that other person is coming from. It is ridiculous to me that there is such a level of superiority in some. How can other people who are living basically the same exact life as me behave in such a manner? I do not and will not ever understand. Being a member of this diabetic family (in my opinion anyway) should mean a welcome of open arms...a shoulder to lean on with no judgement, a million others to seek advice from as well as share your own advice with. There should be no ignoring. There should be no feeling of hesitation when posting something...fearing what someone else will say in response. We should all be able to live and learn and accept each other regardless.
It really saddens me to know that being nice to others and trying to help them doesn't always wind up being the best decision. It's horrible. If we can't count on each other, then who exactly can we count on?
We all share one common goal.....a cure. Researching, advocating, educating, understanding, fundraising, hoping.....for a cure. That is it...that is all. I truly hope the drama and the snobbiness and the cliques and the nonsense will disappear and we can all take a minute to step back and remember what this DOC should really be about.
Again....I'm sorry if I have offended anyone...hurt anyone...etc. I am exhausted from fighting low blood sugars for the past two days. I just want a safe place to land when I am falling in this D-life and I am disappointed to learn lately that it is just not the same.

16 comments:

  1. My sentiments exactly, it's the almost competitiveness of who has it worst that is driving me insane. Not a competition and I agree there are cliques and I left high school a long time ago, so I don't have any time or patience for that. You know who your real friends are, we love you and will always be here for you <3 xoxo

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    1. love you too my friend and thank you for always being there for me! I am truly greatful to have your friendship!

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    2. No thanks required, I treasure our friendship! You've been such a supportive and caring friend, love you!!

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  2. I feel it too...and don't like it! love to you though :-D

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    1. thanks Denise! love to you too! I was WAY overwhelmed today with so many low BG's from Emma and I went on Facebook, saw it was your birthday, and your little guy's toothless smile picture totally brightened my spirits...:o) I bet he was excited about the tooth fairy!

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  3. I agree 100%. And it irritates me that DOC "rules" are defined by a few. What's up with that! You're amazing as always. But I kinda wanna cry because you guys are so darn far away!

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    1. totally agree Michelle...those rule makers are really ruining it for me lately. UGH! I am so greatful to have your wonderful friendship and I agree it is entirely too far!

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  4. Hear, Hear! I've never, and most likely never will, the pettiness of some. Will I agree with everyone, no, and that's OK with me. Everyone has to do what works for them.
    This should be a place to come for support, I totally agree!
    I guess I'm a DOC snob because I have my few favs that I stick to and rarely venture out beyond that comfort zone. Plus, I have such a limited amount of time any more, I have to be kinda picky.;)

    Wow, that was long, sorry!

    Bottom line, I love you, my friend. Keep doing what you're doing!

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    1. You are the total opposite of a snob my friend! You are amazing and you are one of my all-time favorite people on the planet :o) I love you too and thank you for being such a wonderful friend in this. It is beyond comforting to know that you are walking right beside me on this path. Thank you!!

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  5. Over the years of blogging I think I have also felt that I don't belong or that I was at the bottom of the blogging/DOC totem pole however I think that came from a lack of self confidence in my blogging on my part. (not at all saying that is why your feeling this way just sharing my experience filling the same way). I deal with it knowing that there are people in the DOC that "like" one another and will follow each other more closely, they are friends, they have bonded...that is the way life works. I believe that the DOC is huge, lots of people, lots of different experiences, lots of different believes and thoughts of what is the best or "right" way to care for D. You will never please everyone, you will never agree 100% with everyone and vise versa.

    Just keep doing what you do best and don't let others change that! After all I blog for myself and those that understand and like to read about us and D and no one else. If they don't like it then they don't read it and that does not bother me.

    I hope this came across OK...this is another "problem" perhaps with the DOC sometimes computer thoughts and messages come off in a way they were not intended??

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    1. totally hear ya Nicole! I think though that my main issue is with the things I read on Facebook...not so much the blog world. I know that not everyone is going to like evryone all of the time...i just think since we are all dealing with the same disease that we should be able to have a little bit of respect and understanding amongst ourselves. I guess I'm just tired of all the rude/jealous/superior/argumentative comments that I come across. It's a shame really because I never really came across that when we first became part of the DOC. I adore you though and I truly appreciate your honesty. :o)

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  6. Ugh.

    I don't think this is specific to the DOC. I think mothers in general tend to undermine each other (and it's much easier to do it behind a computer screen, so it seems to happen more online than IRL). Breastfeeding, immunizations, potty training.....does the list ever end? In someone else's world, you're always wrong and they're always right.

    There are so many "splinter groups" on FB. It's hard to know where to join a convo and where to scroll over...that's if you can even find the conversations that interest you. I've been added to so many groups without my knowledge...then FB changes something and my settings change and all of the sudden I'm lost! Once I got a PM questioning my motive for posting something they perceived as being "too negative", followed by a PM from someone thanking me for shedding light on the same hard subject. Can't please everyone.

    I think the first time I experienced it was on the CWD website. Man, I made a statement there that someone else didn't like and nearly got eaten alive!!! She brought her posse out of the woodwork, and they tore me apart for being angry about a school issue that had nothing to do with them. That's when I started Candy Hearts.

    I've been blogging for almost 4 years. I'd say my blog is my "homebase". It's where I always come back to. FB friends come and go, but I feel more connected when I'm able to learn about someone else's journey via a blog. It's more personal. That being said...there are A TON of blogs out there. I can't keep up with all of them. I keep my blogroll running, and pop in when I can to check out the most recent updates, but then life takes precedence and I can't read them all, certainly not in one sitting!

    Anyway, I think the key is to just be nice. Even if there's something you want to debate with someone....be nice about it. People can have opposing viewpoints and still be kind. I actually enjoy a good debate from time to time...but not if it's uncivil and not if it's all based on personal opinion. In a debate I like facts.

    Well, thanks for letting me guest blog over here :)

    Chow!

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    1. You are so right Wendy! I will never understand why Mother's will act that way to each other sometimes...ugh. I do believe that I may just take a break from the diabetes part of FB actually. Thinking that may be best for me. I LOVE reading everyone's blogs...there are so many inspiring and incredible people out there sharing their experiences with this life and I am truly greatful to be a part of it. Thank you so much Wendy for your thoughts and your honesty. I think you are a fantastic blogger and I really admire you! and totally laughing at the guest blog thing...lol..you are welcome to anytime my friend! :o)

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    2. I actually have 2 FB accounts. Because sometimes I still want to catch up with my friends and family, but I don't want to weed through all the diabetes stuff. It's nice to bring up my other account, and just be plain old "Wendy". I catch updates and pictures from the people I love IRL, and it's nice to take a break now and then. It's not that I don't advocate over there...I DO! But I also don't feel like I'm losing touch with the people I joined FB for in the first place!

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  7. I totally get what you are saying. In fact, I do not participate much in the FB world of the DOC. I have seen exactly what you are talking about one too many times. When I first joined the DOC, I was so amazed at the support and knowledge that shared. Didn't always agree with what others said, but I (hope!) I have always been respectful.

    Hoping you find "home" in the DOC again soon!

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    1. thank you Misty! I think that is the thing that bothers me the most...is that i never really saw all of the nonsense years ago when Emma was diagnosed...it's seems to have just sprung up over the past few months. I wish it could be like how it used to. Oh well...such is life I suppose! THank you for understanding and for alll of your support! You are the BEST!

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