I think at this point diabetes is sort of becoming like that one old man who lives down the street. You know the one I mean...the guy who shuffles along down the sidewalk in front of your house on his way to the grocery store. Sometimes he just grunts at you and your kids as he goes by...other times he shouts a deep bellowing hello with a big smile on his face...and still other times he will even stop to tell you about the various medications he is on and how he found a deal on toilet paper at the grocery store clear across town last month...which actually turns out to be December 1952...and it was actually at a grocery store in Alabama.
Sometimes he is dressed in his finest duds...brown plaid pants, fedora tilted just so on his freshly brill-creamed hair, wool sportcoat with the leather patches on the arms keeping his warm...and newly polished brown loafers (or sandals with black socks pulled all the way up...depending on the season naturally). Other times you will see him wearing a ratty old pair of grey sweatpants and slipperes that have soles about as thin as that toilet paper mentioned earlier. And still other times you will find him looking comfortable and stylish in a pair of jeans, suspenders, and white button down shirt.
This old man has many stories to tell, he has many wrinkles on his adorable old man face. When he smiles his eyes twinkle brighter than the sun and you catch a glimpse of the adventures he has had in his long life. When he keeps his face down and eyes set upon his feet...one step in front of the other...just keep moving...just keep moving....you feel his pain...you catch a glimpse of the adventures again...and how some of them were not always easy.
After 3 1/2 years, diabetes is sort of like that old man for me now. Some days it is my friend...it helps me see patterns in Emma's blood sugar, it plays fair with good numbers, it fades away into the background and lets us live our lives uninterrupted...peacefully. Some days it is in my face bellowing and grumpy...making me feel a little lost and confused...overwhelmed...my only hope is to focus on one moment at a time...just keep moving...just keep moving. Some days it works, some days it doesn't. It is an adventure in and of itself and all I can do is enjoy those joyful good days full of smiles and stories....and muddle through the hard days where I feel like I am going to lose my mind...keep putting one foot in front of the other...and just go...just hold on until the bright sun rises on a new good day again.