Monday, February 14, 2011

7 years ago today...

Today is my sweet girl's 7th birthday! I thought I would take this chance to share my experience of the day she was born. My due date was actually on my own birthday, February 7th...Emma didn't want to come out then though...apparantly she needed one more week in the oven because she didn't make an appearance until the 14th. Looking back on it now, I think it is completely fitting that she was a week late. Emma is the sweetest kid around...but she definitely has her own mind and her own opinions and does things when SHE wants to do them. I actually love this about her to be honest. I am glad that she is strong-willed. Anyway, Emma is my first and only I did not know what to expect when it came to the whole pain factor of labour. I had heard all of the horror stories, like any new Mom does...but it could not even compare! Emma was positioned "sunny-side up" it was ALL back labour for me. I honestly thought my husband was going to rub the tattoo right off my back from trying to ease my pain. I thought my back was going to break right open and I was going to die. It was crazy!! Well, we went to the hospital and they put that lovely gown on me and told us to walk around for a couple hours to get things progressing. There are only so many places you can walk inside the hospital it got old fast. At one point I remember falling to my knees out front of the elevators because of a particularly bad contraction. I thought I was going to wind up having my baby right there on the floor facing the elevator doors...lolol...what a sight that would have been for whoever decided to get off on that floor! Thankfully the doctor on-call happened to walk by and helped me up and shouted for a nurse to get me a bed before he had to deliver a baby out there in the hallway. I could have kissed him...if I hadn't been delirious from the pain! Anyway, to make a long story short...we got a room, met the other gorgeous human being/anesthesiologist (who I also wanted to kiss for relieving my pain), got an epidural (cause I am by no means a hero and wasn't going to try and tough it out!), and at 6:31pm out came Emma. Up until the very second that she was born, i thought that she was going to be a boy. I don't know why...I just thought she was (as usual, I was wrong!) As the doctor was delivering her, he said to me, "Oh! She must be a girl! She's coming out talking on the phone already!" I guess Emma came out with her arm up and her hand held to her ear as if she was pretending to talk on the phone. Very cute.
I will never ever forget the feeling in my heart when I first looked in her eyes. My husband, Emma, and I were all crying and kissing each other. It felt like my heart was whole at that moment. It felt like I had been walking around for the last 27 years with part of myself missing...incomplete....and when I saw her face and held her in my arms, it all fit together. I honestly never knew that it was possible to have such an incredible amount of love in myself for another human being. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband more than anything as well....but the love I had for Emma that was just a whole different kind of love. As each day passes, it seems to grow more and more too. The past 7 years have brought so many things...cuddles with her as a tiny baby...first words, first steps, school, everything. She amazes me to no end. She has dealt with diabetes in her life for almost three years...almost half her life. She is so beautiful to me that sometimes I look at her and it brings tears to my eyes because I just can't believe that she is mine. I look in her big brown eyes and I see that tiny baby's eyes looking back at me...full of wonder and joy and love. I look in her eyes and I see glimpses of the woman she will be one day...all of her hopes and dreams and goals. She is the funniest person i know...she makes me laugh every single day...I love her sense of humor. She is amazingly smart and has such a kind heart. I am beyond proud of my baby girl. She is and always will be my hero...I admire her and wish that I had half the amount of courage she has. She makes me want to be a better person. She makes me want to change the world for a better place for her to live in. Love is not a good enough word to describe how I feel about her. She is the reason why I breathe...the reason why I get up in the morning and stay up half the night...she has made me happier than I could have ever imagined. I love her with my whole heart and soul. I hope you have an AMAZING day today Emma!!! Happy Birthday to my baby girl. Thank you for being who you are.

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