Saturday, December 11, 2010

There's no waiting in line!!

So, today we went to my husband's Grandma's funeral. This was the 2nd funeral Emma has ever been to and it was the 1st open casket ceremony as well. I was very uncertain and worried and unsure of how to handle it with her...but it really seemed to work out ok. Emma is a whole lot stronger than I give her credit for to be honest. I know that at 6 years old I would definitely NOT be able to handle even half of the things that she has handled. In any case, I was curious to see how all of these events would affect her blood sugar. As the parent of a diabetic child, I spend most of my days worrying about what things are going to do to her blood sugar and if I will be able to control it. It was certainly not a good day for diabetes...she was high all day long...I had to give her 3 extra needles actually to try and get it down to a decent number. Yet one MORE thing that diabetes takes from us. The simple right to pay our respects and grieve for a family members passing without having to constantly be distracted with blood sugars. I've said it before, but I will say it again...diabetes is's mean and it's a bully. Sometimes I just want a break...a day off. I want to be able to sleep for 12 hours and spend the other 12 hours doing absolutely whatever we want to do without worrying about diabetes. Not gonna happen is what it goes on...and other assorted cliches.
In any case, it was a nice service and it was good to see family that we don't get to see regularly. My husband's family has a few issues (to say the least) with people not getting along with others. It is such an odd thing to be in that environment and witness people purposely avoiding eye contact and completely ignoring each other because of these issues. Human nature is a strange thing. I think deep down that we all want to be loved and accepted. We all want to feel like we belong and are a part of something. As we grow up though and leave our kid innocense behind...we become jaded...we see things and hear things and do things that make us lose that good part of ourselves. We become selfish and our hearts are clouded by all of the nonsense that goes on. People say things and do things that are mean. People forget what should really be important. It's a shame...but like I said, i guess that is just human nature.
After supper today, Emma told me that she thinks that Grandma was watching us today and so I asked her how she thought the angels got to see us. I asked her if she thought they could see the whole world or if they could just see where they were from. She told me that she thinks they have a globe up there and all they have to do is find the spot on the globe that they want to look at, push a button, and there ya go..they can see it! So, i asked her if she thought there was one giant globe that they all shared or if they each had their own globes. She told me that they each have their own, because if say for example, Grandma pushed the button on the globe for our town and another angel came up and wanted to look at the same place (but a different family)...then they would have to wait in line for their turn...and "I don't think they should have to WAIT IN LINE in Heaven!!" I thought that was awesome...lolol.
So, good-bye for now Grandma Ermel... i hope every now and again you get a chance to push the button on your globe for our little area and help keep Emma safe. <3

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