A slap in the face

My husband's Grandma passed away yesterday afternoon. Death is such a strange thing I think. For those of us left behind it sort of is like a slap in the face to put things into perspective. It shakes away all the cobwebs of daily duties that are tangled up in our heads bogging us down. It reminds us of what is really important. All of lifes problems...parking tickets, needing to get the car fixed, stressing about getting Christmas shopping done...they all are miniscule. We tend to make these things huge in our minds though when they are happening. Literally 2 seconds before I got the phone call saying that his Grandma had passed away, I was sitting in the driver's seat of the car bitching about getting a parking ticket and mad that I missed it by 4 minutes time...i was so mad...over a $20 ticket! It was something so stupid and so small and I was letting it get to the point of ruining the rest of my day. Then my phone rang and I was told the news. Granted she was my husband's Grandma...and I only knew her for about 10 years...and we were not super close...but it still stung when I found out. She was the only one that ever took the time out to ask me how my Mom was...the only one to ask how my Grandma was after she found out she had breast cancer. She was the only one who ever cared enough to ask me how Emma was doing with her diabetes. She was the only one who actually made me feel welcome and like a part of the family when I moved here. I will always be greatful that I had the chance to know her. She was a special lady and I hated seeing her suffer. So, when I got the phone call yesterday afternoon...it did hurt...and it made me realize that all of those little things I was mad about were really not important at all. It bothers me though that it takes something like death to make us realize what is important. They say that time heals all wounds...which is very true and is usually a good thing...but I think it is also a shame sometimes. Because I know that with the passing of time, that feeling and that realization of what is really important will start to fade away into the background again. It will become overshadowed by the usual everyday life occurances again. I hope not...I hope it doesn't fade too far away.
I am so glad that I have Emma around. She really puts things into perspective for me a lot of the time. I think I will choose to look at things from her point of view on this one. When I told her that her Great Grandma had passed away she said to me, "Mommy, I bet that Grandma is waiting in line at the gates now holding hands with her husband and watching us. I bet she thinks it's really pretty there." She also told me that now we have another angel watching over us and making sure that we are safe. She said that she knows she will get to see all of our angels in Heaven again one day a looooong time from now when she dies. That makes me feel good to know that she is able to deal with death that way...she realizes that it is just a part of life and she is ok with it. So, I am going to choose to think of it like my 6 year old daughter does. I will be happy that Grandma is now with her husband again...I will be happy that she isn't in pain anymore...i will be happy that she is an angel now and in a place that is beautiful beyond words. I will be happy knowing that I will get to see all of our angels again one day...a looooong time from now.