It's amazing what I am finding I can get done in a day after having only 4 hours sleep. For example today I got Emma to school, did a little Christmas shopping, did the dishes, cleaned the bathroom, got her for lunch, went to her school Christmas concert, shoveled the snow off the driveway, picked up more test strips at the pharmacy, got my Avon orders ready, stopped at the Dollar Store to get Emma a new Santa hat since the one we had is lost in the abyss that we like to call the "play room", made supper, helped Emma with her homework and practicing piano, got her teachers Christmas present ready and helped Emma make a card for her, wrapped some Christmas presents, gave Emma a shower, got her snacks, checked blood sugars, gave needles, and got her to bed...WHEW...that's too much...at least somewhere in the middle of all that I was able to shower and have a coffee. So, after supper I sat down on the couch for a minute and tried to focus on playing Polly Pockets with Emma and the darn narcolepsy I have seemed to develop (thank you once again diabetes!) was trying to take control over my eyes and force them shut. I think it won out for a few minutes because I have no recollection of what went on with the Polly Pockets game tonite...oh well.
Anyway, I wanted to share that for the past few days Emma's blood sugars have been high alllll day long...it seemed like no matter what I did, i just could not get them to come back down. I have had enough...so this morning I made some adjustments to her ratios to get them back down to normal and it worked! Each time I checked her blood sugar, I sat there waiting for the 5 seconds to count down to show me a good number. You would have thought i had won the lottery today with how much I was cheering every time it came out being a good number! I love when we get days like this. I love when I make an adjustment and it actually works. It makes me feel like I know what I am doing. It makes me feel like I am in control of this and I am doing my job right and taking care of my kid like a Mommy is supposed to do. I also love seeing how "normal" acting Emma is on good blood sugar days too. I use the term "normal" loosely though...lol..my kid is anything but normal and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's great though...it feels like I have my old kid back...like how she was when she was 3 and didn't have diabetes. She is in a great mood, doesn't look pale, is chattering away and running around playing like every other kid her age. It's great!
So, tonite...for just this little moment in time...I am feeling good about everything. That is all I could hope to ask for in a days time and I am going to hold onto it for as long as I can. I'm going to try to remember this feeling on days when we are struggling and it feels like I am losing the battle for control with diabetes. Just so I can remember it and realize that no matter how difficult things may seem...I know that feeling in control and happy with things is always a possibility. No matter how much crap diabetes throws our way...things are never hopeless.