Sometimes I have a smart mouth...ok...MOST of the time I have a smart mouth. I am sarcastic and I have a tendency to swear (unless I don't really know you...or if you are over the age of 70 like my Grandma...and then I try to reign it in and say things like "what the heck?!" instead of "what the f-word?!") I know, I know...swearing is bad...but sometimes I just can't help it. For example, when I am frustrated beyond all belief at a high blood sugar that comes out of no where...saying things like "Awww phooey!" just doesn't give me that same sense of releasing my anger as when I respond by saying "Awww S-word!" instead. Honestly, I think if that is my biggest fault in life, then I am doing pretty good.
In any case, I have realized something that I do and it makes me wonder if I should stop it. On occasion when I check Emma's blood sugar and I get a really stupid number that I wasn't expecting, I will comment with something along the lines of "Curse you pancreas!" or "why are you mocking me, diabetes?!" or just the general incoherent groan. Usually Emma will laugh hysterically at my response. Mostly because for some reason she thinks I am hilarious....and also because she herself has sort of a sick sense of humour that causes her to giggle at other people's grievances. She finds it funny when other people trip up the stairs (which I mean, who doesn't really?), she laughs when it's MY turn to go to the dentist cause she knows I hate it there (which is extra funny to me today, because I am leaving in about an hour to go get her from school for HER turn in the dentists chair! HA!), she snickers away at the thought of me circling the parking garage at the hospital searching for what seems like hours for a parking spot...somewhere...anywhere...only to find that the only open space is on the roof...in a huge puddle...farthest away from the stairway going down to the sidewalk. Yep, she is the sweetest kid on the planet...she has a heart of gold...she is a super well behaved child, but she has a twisted sense of humour already at 7 years old.
Anyhoo, back to my problem...i am wondering if I am scarring her inner psyche or emotional mentality when i make comments like that about her diabetes or her blood sugars? I'm wondering if I am doing harm to her mental health by making jokes or being sarcastic? I wonder if I should stop it? Or am I actually doing some good with my sarcasm and jokes? Am I teaching her through my comments and actions that life doesn't really have to be all that serious ALL of the time...even with diabetes? I just want to point out before I post this and I invite the judgement...that I would not and have not ever said anything mean to her or about her regarding her diabetes...that is totally not something I would ever do...I love her more than anything in this world. I only want to try and make her laugh during a stressful time. When she laughs, it makes my world a better place.