Today I took Emma to a birthday party for a little boy from school. She had a blast and it was such a beautiful day out! I realized a couple of things though at this party that I thought I would share. First of all...this is the first bday party she's been to since grade 1 started. The kids are all a bit older and parents are starting to not stay with their kids at the party like they did in kindergarten. All the parents except for ME I should say. The parents of the birthday child are always very nice and always appreciate the extra set of hands to help out with all of the kids. I can't help but wonder though how long before Emma gets annoyed with me being there? How long before she gets embarassed with me being there? How long before she starts to resent diabetes because she is the only one who's mom is there? How long before she really clues in to the fact that she IS different from the rest of her friends because of her diabetes? Up until now it hasn't really come into play because she was still young enough not to care and her friends never really saw anything as being different. I know she still doesn't really care that I am there...but I can honestly hear the ticking clock on that one and time is almost up. I am very jealous of all of those parents who walked up to the house with their kids and just kissed them, said the typical "be good! I will see you soon!", and turned around...got in their cars...and drove away. I'm jealous that they got to either run some errands or just go home and not think twice about if their kid was ok or not. I don't like being jealous. I'm not really a jealous person at all. This kind of jealously bothers me though...it's like a deep ache in my gut that won't go away. An ache for how my life and my daughter's life COULD have been. I don't really have more to say about that one cause it honestly hurts to much at the moment.
The other thing I came across at the party was much cuter and so sweet! Towards the end of the party, the kids were all in the basement dancing to some fun fast dance music. Actually all of the BOYS were dancing and the 4 GIRLS were all sitting on the couch watching them...lol. Then the bday boys dad put on a slow song and teasingly told the boys that they should invite a girl to dance! Well, the boy that Emma has a crush on walked right up to her and asked her to dance...:o) HOW SWEET! That was one nice thing about being the mom of the diabetic kid staying at the party...getting to witness that moment in my daughters life...lol. Ahh...to be 6 years old again!
I know how you feel Amy. I find that when we're going out there's so much planning. I miss the days where we could just hop in the van and go. Parents take for granted the freedom they have. Now we need to remember all the supplies and constantly plan ahead for what might happen. But we do get the joy of spending lots of time with our kids. Hang in there. Janet
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