There are so few moments in life that force us to remember what is truly important...what truly matters. We get stuck in the mundane and monotonous routine of blood sugar checks, insulin injections, pump site changes, numbers, numbers, numbers...and we tend to forget those little things that mean so much.
Well, today I got to enjoy one of those moments...and I am still feeling the afterglow of it. Emma and I were invited to be guests on a local TV show here called "Daytime" to talk about World Diabetes Day and Emma's 4th Annual hot chocolate sale fundraiser for JDRF. I got her from school and we drove to the station with a ball of nervousness growing in our bellies. Like I have mentioned before, I am NOT a big fan of public speaking...I don't like all the attention focused on me...I get shy, nervous, stumble on my words, turn beet red, and it usually turns into a big uncomfortable situation. Emma is not a HUGE fan of being put in situations like that either...but once she is there and in the moment, she really is at ease and seems to enjoy it. We arrived and were greeted with some of the most amazing people...the host was incredible...he immediately began crackin jokes and making Emma laugh...I am so greatful. We sat down on the couch and once the cameras started rolling...the nerves were out the door. I made a point of not looking at the camera...I wanted to say all of the things that were flying through my mind. I wanted to talk about diabetes and make the viewers understand...I wanted them to get a true honest to goodness glimpse into our lives and maybe possibly hopefully ignite some spark of compassion...some tiny bit of curiosity in them...so that they would talk about it with someone else...spread the word...educate each other. I felt the enormous weight of my thoughts on my shoulders. I wanted to make you all proud. I wanted you to feel confident in me and my ability to get the word out there and spread the awareness. I hope I accomplished that. I hope that my words reached through the screen and touched someone at home...I hope that I made a difference today. Isn't that really what this life is all about? Making a difference? Loving your friends and family to the utmost capacity and making a difference in the world? I believe so anyway.
While I sat there listening to the host talk to Emma, I had to choke back tears. I have said many times before how proud I am of her...for her bravery, her compassion, her kind soul, her drive, and her ambition. However today....ohhh today was so much more. I sat next to her on the couch and watched her speak about her diabetes. I watched her OWN it...I watched her show off her pump...I watched her talk about her hot chocolate sale and how important it is. I was overcome with a feeling so much greater than pride...it was incredible. I was in awe of her...her courage...her tenacity...her attitude of "this is me...this is who I am...take it or leave it"
Once the interview was over, I saw her smile...and I knew...she was proud of herself. She knew that she made a difference today...she knew that she left her mark today. We walked out of that TV station with a spring in our step and smiles that stretched from ear to ear. As a Mom, I try to teach her what is important in life. I try to teach her that it is much better to stand up and fight for what you believe in...even if everyone else around you thinks you are a fool for trying. I try to teach her that this disease does not define her. She is so much more than diabetes. I try to teach her that she should never sit back and let pity rule her days...it's ok to be sad...it's ok to hate it...it's ok to let those feelings out...but don't let them rule your days. I try to teach her that being who she is...honestly and truly who she is...being a leader in this world...it's so much better than the alternative. Never hide yourself. Never hide the true you. I try to teach her that it doesn't matter what anyone else in the world says or thinks of you....the only thing that matters is what YOU think...that YOU know you did something special...that YOU know you made a difference today...and that YOU are proud of yourself.
Yep, today was a good day...and I am a lucky girl...I won't be forgetting that anytime soon.