I think in all of my blog posts over the past almost year now, I haven't ever really talked much about my husband and the relationship he has with Emma. I don't know why...I really should have because he really is an incredible man and he has an amazing bond with Emma. So, this post is dedicated to him.
I actually met my husband Shawn about 12 years ago. Believe it or not, we met online...not through one of those now famous online dating websites...it was through this chat program called ICQ (which I don't know if it is even around anymore!) Anyway, there is a feature on ICQ where you can send out a random search chat message and it wound up going to me. So we are talking incredible odds here that we even met! Well, to make a long story short..we chatted and talked on the phone nearly every day for about a year. I came here to visit him a couple of times during that year and we were in love. He asked me to marry him, I moved here, and the rest is history.
From that first moment in the hospital when I had Emma, and I saw the tears shining in his eyes as he looked at her and held her for the first time...I knew that he was in love. She was his little girl and he would have done anything for her and given her the sun, moon, and stars if she had asked.
When Emma was diagnosed 4 years later, I looked in his eyes and saw the pain...the worry...the fear for his baby girl. I knew that his heart was breaking as much as mine. I knew that this would change him forever just like it was changing me. We learned together as a family how to make it work though...and I owe a huge part of that to him. He is a strong man who doesn't really wear his emotions on his sleeve like I do. When it comes to Emma and I though...I think it's just a different story for him. He is there to hug me when I feel like I just can't do it anymore. He is there to comfort Emma after a particularly painful site change. He is there to lay next to her and make her feel safe and help her fall back asleep after a scary nightmare. He is there to hold her and wipe away her tears when she fell off the swingset and landed on her face and her tooth broke through her bottom lip. He was there to make her giggle and smile when she was fighting a horrible stomach virus and wound up in the hospital battling ketones, low bg's, and dehydration.
He is there for her.
I am always told how much Emma looks like him...their dimples, their eyes, their smiles...I love it. We had a site change day on the weekend and for some reason Emma said this one hurt a lot more than normal and she actually cried like she did in the beginning of our pumping journey. Shawn kissed her tears away and told her that we were going for ice cream as a treat because she is so brave. Well, after ordering what we wanted, we all sat down at the table to enjoy our treat. Emma sat across from Shawn, and I was in the middle (it was a round table...lol) and I sat there watching them. Shawn was looking at his little girl and smiling...Emma was giggling and looking at him...they didn't say a word...they just looked at each other as they ate their ice cream and shared a special moment. I took a closer look at Shawn and noticed tears in his eyes...it took my breath away...it made tears sting my own eyes. I sat there watching my husband...the man I love with my whole heart...watching our little girl and being so proud of her and loving her so much that he was near crying. It was beautiful and I will never forget that moment in the ice cream shop.