Monday, March 21, 2011

It's nice to feel appreciated

The other day Emma told me that she doesn't ever want to have a kid with diabetes. She said it totally out of the blue. We weren't even talking about anything diabetes related. We were just driving home from somewhere and she blurted it out from the back seat. My first reaction was to laugh because hearing a 7 year old talk about being a Mom herself one day is always a cute and funny thing. I was curious to find out why I asked her. She told me that it would be too hard...she would never be able to sleep, she would always have to be giving needles, or finger pokes, or counting carbs, or worrying about how they feel. Huh...and here I thought she never really gave what I do a second thought. Here I thought she didn't really pay too much attention to what I have to do for her every day. I assumed she was just kind of going with the flow and figured this all was just normal and part of my job and it couldn't really be that hard or that much work. I think this is the closest I got to her actually thanking me for taking care of her...the closest I got to her vocalizing, in so many words, that she appreciates what I do for her every day. I have to admit, it felt good. I'm not saying AT ALL that my kid is not usually greatful or appreciative....because she is. She is very good about even thanking me for getting her a refill on her glass of water, or buying her some new rain boots, or letting her have friends over to play. I can honestly say though, that she has never really thanked me or shown me that she appreciates me when it comes to the diabetes stuff. It made me feel good. It made me happy. I told her that I wouldn't trade her for the world...diabetes and all. I told her that I would never sleep again if I had to...I would stay up forever to take care of her and make sure she was safe. I will continue to do all that I can to take care of her no matter what. I will continue to do the needles and finger pokes and math, and worrying and stress. I will do these things for the rest of my life for her...or until a cure is found...simply because I love her...simply because she is my baby heart, my soul, and my world. She got a huge smile on her face then...and we just continued our drive home. I am glad that I have learned to hang on to those little moments in life. The car rides home, the giggles sitting on the couch together, the walk from the car to the grocery store holding her hand in mine...they mean the world to me.


  1. I am teary eyed :) happy though, what a great feeling.