Friday, February 3, 2012

Sometimes it's hard

Sometimes it's hard. It's hard to keep moving. It's hard to find that light. It's hard to see through the fog of your own wants and dreams and hopes. Sometimes it's hard to force your feet back down to the ground and realize that what you have is all that matters...what you want is but a mere whisper through the treetops of the land which you travel. Sometimes it seems impossible to just keep moving...putting one foot in front of the other and just keep going. It's hard to lift your head up and focus on the path directly in front of you. Sometimes it's even harder to lift your head even higher and gaze upon the stars above...twinkling in the pitch black sky...seeming so far away...so out of reach....sprinkled like dust around the moon...so far. Sometimes it's hard to convince your heart of what your head is so sure. Sometimes it's hard to convince your head that your heart must be wrong. It's hard to know...hard to decide...hard to take that small but giant leap from the edge of the cliff and let the fates take you where they may. Sometimes it's hard to trust that you are even on the right path...that you are even following the right signs and pushing ever onward towards to right light...the right hope...the right dream. Who has any right except for you to decide that it is the right path anyway? Sometimes it's hard to know if you are following along that unforgiving...rutted...fleeting path.....for yourself....or for another. Sometimes it's hard to know what is truly right....what is meant to be. I suppose we will never be given that reassurance of knowing if it is the right path until we have actually reached the end....if even then. Sometimes it's hard to breathe. Sometimes it hurts so bad that it feels like a ton of bricks has been placed upon your chest and you are forced to carry it around with you every waking moment. Every breath you are able to squeak out is like fire burning deep and strong in your throat. Sometimes it's hard to set that weight aside...even in the deep dark silent night....when you are all alone...listening to the chaos inside your own mind. Sometimes it's hard to silence that inner argument. It's hard to close your eyes on this day and hold on to that small hope...grasp it within your shaking hands...fingertips turning white from the effort that your heart is willing to put forth. Sometimes it's hard.

2 comments:

  1. Been there...and know that I will be there again. Life. Xo

    ReplyDelete