So I came to the realization today while I was watching "Loony Tunes" with Emma...there are two kinds of people in this world. Two ways that we can choose to perceive things. Two ways that we can choose to live our lives. Either like The Roadrunner....or Wile E. Coyote. We can keep moving forward, a smile upon our face, feeling the wind in our hair as we fly along our path just like The Roadrunner.....or we can put all of our focus into the negative...seeking to catch that thing in our life that is causing us turmoil. While spending all of our energy on that revenge and that hatred...we miss out on all of the good things along the way.
I would have to say that since diabetes came into our lives I have struggled with that battle. Sure some days I am able to move ahead smiling...enjoying the days...holding my head up and plowing through life with positivity leading me. Most definitely though there are days where I am the Coyote. When I am in the midst of trying to decipher out of control blood sugar numbers, or when I am jealous of those that have no idea what a diabetic life entails, or when I am sitting up in the wee hours of the morning trying to think of ways to keep myself awake so I can make sure that low blood sugar is coming up before I finally let sleep overtake my poor exhausted mind. I let that anger and that jealousy seep into my thoughts and poison everything else around me...the sun shining down upon my face, the flowers blooming, how calm and quiet and peaceful the mornings are after it has snowed all night....everything twinkling and sparkling making the world look like a fairy tale. I let that anger at this disease muddy my thoughts and sort of put blinders on so I wind up missing all of the good things.
Even though the tummy bug Emma had been dealing with is now pretty much gone from the house, she was still complaining of tummy pains every now and again today. Because of diabetes, my mind moves directly to the worst case scenario....I worry about ketones, celiac, whatever...even though I know that it is probably just her stomach trying to get back to normal and it isn't able to quite handle regular foods full out yet...I mean today really is only day 3 of the illness. But for some reason I let those "Coyote" thoughts slip into my mind and I get angry. I let that angry spirit take over and I lose sight of the good things.
I think that is probably a constant battle for most anyone in life. It's impossible to be positive or happy all of the time....just as it would be extremely difficult to be negative and angry all of the time. Somehow though I believe that when diabetes or any other health issue that is with us on a daily basis is thrown into the mix....it seems like those Roadrunner and Coyote days are more extreme. It is definitely the extremes that go along with this disease that are hard. Extreme highs and lows...extreme situations...extreme battles for a healthy kid....extremes are hard. Here's to hoping this week I can get back to feeling like the Roadrunner.
p.s. also was a little disturbed and grossed out to see Porky Pig eating a club sandwich on today's episode....lol....eww