Never ending carnival rides

So, there are only 7 days left of school here and I find myself sitting here thinking about how quickly this year flew by. It feels like Emma just started 1st grade yesterday. I guess it really is true what they say about time flying by once your kids start school. It's sort of a bittersweet time of year for me. I am looking forward to sleeping in, being lazy, and not having any agenda for our days. I'm excited to be able to just do whatever we want to do whenever we want to do it. On the one hand I am looking forward to being able to have Emma with me all the time during the day so I can keep an eye on her blood sugars. It's like I will once again be able to breathe a sigh of relief at 9:45am and 1:45pm when I know that she would be having her snacks at school. I won't have to sit here holding my breath waiting for that dreaded phone call from the school telling me that she is low.
On the other hand, I will miss her teacher a lot. I have gotten used to being able to count on her to look after Emma and her blood sugars for 6 1/2 hours a day 5 days a week. It's a nice break for me. It's time that I have been able to use to get things done that needed to get done. It is so incredibly comforting to know that I can come home from dropping her off at school and just lay on the couch and take a nap if I want to. This school year, Emma's teacher has proven to me time and time again that she can recognize lows just by the look on Emma's face. She has shown me that she is willing to go above and beyond to make sure that Emma is ok. She has forewarned me of days that she was going to be absent or in meetings, just so I would know that someone else would be looking out for her. I've tried to explain to her these past couple of weeks how much she really means to me. I've tried to find the right words to make her really truly understand how much I appreciate what she has done this year. In a sense she has become like a second Mom to my daughter. Not only has she taught her so many things, but she has done it while managing her diabetes as well. She took it upon herself to educate herself on diabetes just so she would know what to do in any given situation. When I was struggling with deciding on when to start Emma on the pump, I spoke with her teacher first. I felt it necessary to ask her if she would be ok with things if I started Emma on it before the school year was over...or if she would prefer that I waited until this summer. I will never forget that day standing in the school hallway. I was a nervous wreck because I was struggling with what to do and with knowing what would be the best decision for all involved in Emma's life. Her teacher stood there with a caring and reassuring look in her eyes. Without hesitation, she told me that she thought I should start her on the pump as soon as possible. She said that she thought it would be better and easier to just start it right away, so we could learn how Emma's body would act on it during school and then we would be able to just relax this summer and enjoy our time off. She told me that she was more than willing to learn what needed to be learned regarding the pump. Her main concern was keeping Emma healthy. She told me that the way she looked at things is that she would want her own children's teachers to treat them the same way. She would want them to be taken care of in the best possible way too...so of course she would do the same for us. Honestly I don't think I would have had the courage to start the pump that soon, if not for Emma's teacher. I would have probably waited. Her teacher gave me the strength and the reassurance that we could do this. She made me feel like we were all on the same team in this daily battle with diabetes. She made me feel like I wasn't alone. She stood there looking at me...comforting me...not only as a teacher speaking to a parent...but as one Mom speaking to another Mom. I could never thank her enough for that.
So, here I sit...excited for the summer...and anticipating the next school year already. I've already asked Emma's teacher if she is available to be rented out this summer to help me out still....no dice on that one! LOL Instead I will sit here worrying about the future and the 2nd grade teacher and hoping that she will be as willing to be on our team as well. Hoping that she will also get to that point in the school year where she will know my daughter as well as this years teacher does. It sort of feels like a carnival ride that I can never get off of. It just keeps going around and around and no matter how much I scream at the carnie who is running the ride, that I want to get off already....he just continues to stand there smoking and drinking his muddy coffee with his hearing aid turned off, smiling and waving as I continue to go by...ignoring me. We are rounding the bend on this years ride right now...nearing the station again...waiting for the stupid carnie to wave again. I guess I better sit back and keep my arms and legs inside the vehicle as we start to climb back up that first steep hill again. Hopefully 2nd grade will turn out to be as fantastic an experience as 1st grade was.