Sometimes I feel like being a D-Mom is sort of like being a player in the ultimate game of life or death baseball. Sometimes diabetes throws a curveball our way....or sometimes a fastball that appears to be directed right at our heads...or on a good day, sometimes it's just smooth and straight right across homeplate.
Sure, we strike out many times....we hit an easy pop fly and diabetes catches that ball in one easy stride...we step into it and hit that ball with all of our might only to grimace and realize that it's a foul...and sometimes....just sometimes...we knock that ball right out of the park.
You know the kind....a homerun...sailing over the fence...fireworks exploding in the night sky beyond the park lights...the crowd on their feet roaring in victory with us! Sometimes it happens and we get to trot around the bases soaking in the cheers and high fiving our teammates along the way.
I feel like I hit a homerun this morning. Today is Halloween and at Emma's school everyone got to wear their costumes to school. There was a dance-a-thon in the gym, treats, crafts, fun stuff for everyone. This is our 5th time celebrating Halloween with diabetes along for the ride. It's never easy to anticipate the way her blood sugars are going to react to all of the excitement and treats and activity. Sure I have 4 other Halloween's to base my assumptions off of....but you know what they say happens when you assume. So, I have learned to take it one step at a time. Not just "get through" the moments....but experience them....make memories...file them away for those days in my future where I will look back on my life and smile. I guessed this morning and gave her a little less insulin than her pump told me to give her for breakfast in anticipation of the dancing and excitement. I am a firm believer in it's better to have her run a little high on days like this at school, than to have to battle lows. I glanced at the clock at home when I knew she would be in full tilt dance mode at school. I said a little prayer for her safety. I wished for her to have fun and just be a kid....laugh with her friends...dance like a goofball...just be an 8 year old girl. I sent all my good pseudo-pancreas vibes down the road to her. I reassured myself that we can do this....she can do this...I can do this...everything will be fine.
I picked her up at lunch time and giggled to myself at how impossible it was to scan her face for signs of a low...not very easy to see if she is pale through a bunch of zombie facepaint! We got home, I checked her blood sugar...and was met with a 5.2. It doesn't get much better than that.
I had my homerun. I had my victory. I had my moment to trot around the bases and pump my fist in the air.
Sometimes diabetes wins an inning...and sometimes we do. The thing to remember is that the game continues on...there is always another chance up at bat. It's an epic game of wills and I think we all know who will come out victorious in the end. I think we all know who will wind up on the jumbo-tron with a smile the size of Texas...jersey dusty and dirty from sliding into home.