Sunday, October 14, 2012

A Moment of Beauty

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. First off, I would like to know who "they" are and what makes "them" such an authority on how the rest of us should think. In case you haven't figured it out by now, I am not a huge fan of being told what to do or how to think about things....I've always been that way, just ask my Mom about the lovely teen years.
Anyhoo, in this particular case, I would have to agree with them. What is beautiful to one, could be completely boring to another. I think a lot of us get so wrapped up in our busy lives that we tend to miss out on all of the beauty that surrounds us every day.
I was at a birthday party today for a little boy in Emma's class. I am starting to take some tentative steps in Emma's independence when it comes to diabetes. I am trying to teach her that while yes...she can most definitely have fun just like every other kid out there....and yes, she can eat that birthday cake and have that juice and play those games and run around like a maniac with the rest of her friends............she still has to remember that diabetes is there. She has to remember that in order to have fun and be just like all of the other kids, she must do a little extra. She must check her blood sugar, she must stop running to check and make sure she isn't low...and if she IS low she must drink that juice. She has to remember these things and develop her abilities to think ahead when it comes to things like activity level, excitement level, carbs consumed, insulin on board.
We are all a work in progress. Even though I have been doing this for almost 4 1/2 years now, I am still a work in progress. I am still learning. I will continue to learn for the rest of my life. The moment I stop learning or  even lose that desire to learn....I might as well be lost because I will be of no use to anyone...including myself. The key to understanding most anything in this world is education. If you find the beauty in education you will inevitably discover the beauty in understanding. The two go hand in hand.
So, back to the party.....I decided to check Emma one last time and leave her at the party. I left her meter bag with the birthday boy's big sister and got in my car and drove away. I drove away and that feeling of panic was not there. I felt..........good. I got home and spent the next while sitting on my husband's lap at the computer watching Felix Baumgartner make it into the record books by skydiving from more than 24 miles in the air. As I sat there, my husband's arm around me...our eyes glued to the monitor...I felt it again..........I felt....good. We stared at this man as he leapt from a tiny ladder attached to the side of a tiny capsule high above the Earth. I was in awe of the bravery and guts that this man be able to step off that ladder and simply fall. His words before he jumped? "I wish you could see what I see right now. Sometimes you have to go up really high to see how small you are."
To be able to stand there and look down at the world...I can only imagine how breathtaking that beauty must have been. Felix's vision of beauty today was on a grande scale of that not many of us in the world will ever be so lucky to witness ourselves.
I took my little moment today...with my husband as we watched this extreme skydive......I took it as a thing of beauty. To everyone else, it probably would seem like a boring every day occurance between a husband and wife...........but to was beautiful...and I felt good.

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