Friday, June 8, 2012

What Emma will tell her grandchildren

Last night while Emma was in the bath, she was talking to me about how weird it will be to tell her kids and grandkids that she "used to have diabetes when she was a little girl." For some reason she was highly concerned that once a cure is found, she will have to give back her pump and meter. It was definitely one of those moments that broke my heart and made me smile and giggle on the inside all at the same time. She was looking at me so earnestly and had tears in her eyes because she has become so attached to these devices that she uses on a daily basis....that the thought of having to return them was just too overwhelming for her. I reassured her that we would keep them if she wanted them...even if I have to pay for them myself, we will do she can have them as a souvenir for the rest of her life. How odd to think of these things as potentially being "souvenirs" one day. I mean we go on Disney World, the Grand Canyon, or even somewhere exotic or European......and we always pick up souvenirs to bring back with us. We will grab a silly little keychain...or a shot glass...or the ever popular t-shirt that says "I went to *insert location here* and all I got was this silly t-shirt." But to think of an insulin pump and a blood sugar meter as being souvenirs one day? I just can't imagine it at this point. Emma can though...she wants them...she wants to hold on to them forever so she can show them to her children and her grandchildren. She wants to keep them because they will remind her of what she had to endure as a kid. It will be something tangible that she can pull out on rainy days, and recall all of her life's events that she lived with this pump attached to her...1st days of school, gymnastics classes, piano lessons, birthday parties, playdates. It will be like a badge of honor for her I think. She said she wants to sit down in her rocking chair when she is an old lady and pull this little pink insulin pump out of a special drawer and say to her grandchildren, "ya see this here? this is the thing that your Grandma had to wear EVERY single day for many years when she was just a wee girl (apparently Emma will develop a Scottish accent by the time she is an old woman? LOL) to keep her alive. Isn't it cool? At first I was scared of it...but pretty soon after I loved it. So I kept it my WHOLE life just to show you youngins!"
It's funny, because as she was telling me these things...I could see the image in my mind...I could see her old and white haired...wrinkles lining her beautiful face...those same wise soulful eyes that have just a twinkle of mischieviousness in them. I could see her sitting there in her rocking chair with a circle of children around her...staring up at this pump with awe...listening to her every word and saying things like, "WOAHHHH! Grandma you were brave!!" and "Can I hold it? How did it work?" I can picture this vividly. I know that day will come...I know she will get to live that exact moment...and I know that I will probably not be around or alive to witness it...but I will be with her in her heart...and I will be watching down on her and her beautiful family...and I will smile. I will smile because I will remember that day...yesterday...and I will picture her little 8 year old self imagining her future...and it will be one of those rare sweet memories that became a reality.


  1. I can totally understand this. I have a tattoo on my wrist that says, "diabetic type 1 12/17/84"
    That was my diagnosis date. I also wear a medic alert bracelet and people ask me why I have both. The tattoo is really a badge of honor to me. I have made it 27 years and I have no complications. And, someday when there is a cure, I can add a "dash" symbol to my tattoo and list my cure date.

  2. Great story! I love the idea our kids know there will be a cure. Mine are 6 and 4 1/2 and they talk about cure, but not in the fashion of this story. One of my favorite posts i've read. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Put a smile on my face. Joe has not talked about a CURE in this way before, but he believes in one.

  4. Love this! Ally does mention on occasion, "when I don't have diabetes anymore...", and when I start to remind her that she will always have diabetes, she reminds me that she means "when they find a cure".