So a couple weeks ago I won a fantastic prize from Nicole's blog...We Cara Lot ...a $200 Visa Gift Card through Accu-check! SUCH a cool prize and I am usually never lucky with winning things, so it was all the more sweet to discover that I had won. I knew right off the bat what I wanted to spend my winnings on.....a swing for our deck. Back home in Wisconsin, my parents have one and every year that Emma and I go to visit them...we usually spend quite a bit of time out there swinging away and enjoying each other's company. So, I thought how nice that would be to finally have one of our own! Anyway, we found the perfect swing last week and the box had been sitting in my living room waiting to be assembled...waiting for a sunny day to come along...and the rain to stop...so we could put it together outside (even though I am quite sure Emma would have loved setting it up and leaving it in the living room!)
Yesterday I decided that I had waited long enough...and was bound and determined to put this thing together. I am smart...I am strong...I can do this...I don't need my husband to help...I'm a D-Mom...I can do anything, right?! I knew that the forecast called for thunderstorms...and that my husband was at work...but I didn't care. I wanted it done! I have a bit of a stubborn streak in me and I think that once I decide on something, there usually isn't much that will stop me. So, I carried the awkward box outside, had my tools ready, and was scanning the directions for step 1. As usual, whenever I take on a task that is out of my comfort zone....I am reminded of diabetes. I think about how in the beginning of this I would have given anything to have an instruction manual. I would have given anything to have someone there to tell me the precise answer to all of the issues that would arise on a daily basis. I didn't have that option though. Diabetes doesn't play that way. It is more of a fly by the seat of your pants kind of thing and learn as you go. So, I began to assemble this swing...step by step...taking my time and laying out all of the parts as I went along. I got so engrossed in what I was doing that I didn't notice the clouds rolling in until my neighbour shouted across the street to me that I better pack it in because the clouds were looking pretty scary. As if on cue, a low rumble of thunder echoed all around me and the skies opened up. I quickly threw everything back in the box and dragged it inside again. Once again my mind turned towards diabetes. No matter what we find ourselves battling during the day, we always make it through. The thunderstorm equivalent of a stubborn low blood sugar, a ketone extravaganza, or bubbles in the tubing of her pump....we always weather the storm and make it through. We have become masters at "riding it out" so to speak.
A couple of hours passed and I was able to resume assembly of the swing. Once again I dragged everything back outside and opened up my instruction manual. I discovered that I had screwed something on backwards...ugh...so I had to unscrew it, flip it around, and redo it the right way. I discovered that while I was doing this, Emma had "helped" by laying out each screw, nut, bolt, and cap....in a long line up...on various levels of the porch railing...like a "store".....ughhh...thanks, but ughh! So, as I went about fixing things, my end goal seemed to be getting further and further away. Once all was set right again, I moved on to the actual seat assembly step. I grabbed it out of the box and attempted to open it up. It was like one of those old school patio chairs that is sort of spring tension loaded..so it took quite a bit of wrenching to get it open...which probably should have been my first clue to keep it away from my face as I was pulling...but it wasn't...I held it right in front of me and pulled with all my might....and the seat eventually sprung open and wacked me right in the nose...I saw stars and immediately sat down right there in the driveway. Long story short, I am now sporting a swollen lumped nose...and a bruised ego.
This swing project is teaching me a lesson. Life isn't easy. There are always going to be things that get in your way and try to stop you from reaching your goal. The real point of it all is to keep moving...keep going no matter what. The whole lesson is learned in the journey and the obstacles you encounter along the way. If we always had it easy and went from point a to point b...or straight from step 1 to step 2 with no bumps...no bruises...no swollen and probably broken noses....we would never appreciate the things that we achieve! Yes, I do feel like a moron for what happened with my nose.....but at the same time, I am proud of myself...I took on a task that was out of my comfort zone and I kept going. I still have a couple of steps left to finish this swing, but I will get there...I will do it today and I will finish it. Just as in diabetes, I know there are (more than) a few steps left in our journey to a cure...but we will get there...we will do it...because we are strong and we have tenacity and we know the true meaning of perseverance...we have the guts to do it and we have just enough of that all important and often misunderstood stubborn streak in us.
So, when I am sitting on my new swing later today...leaning my head back, soaking in the sunshine and the peaceful rhythm of the back and forth motion...I will smile and know that this diabetes life is by far the most difficult task we have had to take on. I will smile and know that it started out being 100% out of our comfort zone. I will smile and know that we will get there one day...as long as we keep following those steps and weather the storms that life throws our way.