I was sitting here thinking about the fact that as a Mom of a type 1 diabetic child, I sort of see things differently. I mean I have known for most of my life that I do not belong in the group of people that one would classify as being normal. However, since I began my career as a Mom of a type 1 diabetic child....I think that odd-ness has sort of been magnified. I feel like I sometimes see things differently out there in the big bad world. It's like I walk around wearing these D-Mom goggles...so to speak. I see things in a whole new way because of diabetes. From simple things like walking down the aisle at the grocery store and seeing the food on the shelves in a completely different way......to going on a school field trip with Emma and noticing a particular classmate that looks just a little too pale...and little too lethargic in the summer heat. I see things through my D-Mom colored goggles now. I see the food on the shelves at the store and I see carbs...I see numbers...fibre...fast acting sugars, protein, fat.....I see how this food is going to be digested in her body. I see how much insulin she will need before eating it. I see this food as fuel instead of simply something to eat for pleasure or nourishment. I see it as the fuel her body needs to function properly and in a healthy manner. I see the classmates at the park and my D-Mom goggles zero in on their eyes....searching for the familiar signs of high blood sugars or low blood sugars. I find myself unable to focus on anything else around me because I can't shake that feeling in my gut when I see the pale complexion on their face.
My D-Mom goggles are always on....day and night...I never remove them. They have become a part of me now and like it or not, I have to accept it. So, diabetes has in fact changed me to a certain extent. It has possibly magnified my oddness...or my quirkiness....it has left me with a feeling inside that I must wear these goggles with pride and bravery. I put them on years ago originally for my daughter....and now I wear them for countless others. I wear them because they are mine and I make them look good.