Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Bullying

I think the word "bullying" gets thrown around a lot these days. Maybe I am naive, but it seems to me that it is occuring more and more now than it ever did when I was a kid. I have spent many days worrying that diabetes will be the root of bullying problems that my child will face. I worry that she will get made fun of for the pump she wears. I worry that she will get made fun of for being different than the other kids. I worry. It's what I do. I'm a Mom.
Over the past few years since Emma has started school, I have heard of various stories she has shared with me about other kids being mean to her...calling her fat...calling her stupid...boring...annoying..weird. I have heard it all before. Some kids are cruel. They say whatever they can think of to hurt you....I'm am assuming they do it just to make themselves feel better more than anything.
Today after school, Emma told me that a girl in her class told her that she is "Just like her Mom." The tone she used to mimic this girl's statement was very rude and very much like she was trying to be hurtful and insulting. Ok, yes...I'm a big girl...I'm almost 36 years old...I have a lot of years under my belt in comparison to this little girl...so I know that the words she chose to use are meaningless....in fact I am sure she heard them from a certain adult in her life that is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Fine. I'm ok with that. The thing that bothered me the most though was the fact that she said these things to my daughter. I often worry that my presence at school or in social situations with Emma will get on Emma's nerves...that she will feel like I am in the way..that she will resent diabetes because she knows that is the only reason why i am there...i.e. to help treat stubborn lows at school or to check in on her blood sugar number during a birthday party. I know she knows that I am there to assist in the diabetes aspect of things. I try to remain as inconspicuous as possible and slip in ninja style...do what I have to do in the ways of the pancreas arts...and slip out silently. I know she is almost 9 years old and she doesnt want the presence of her Mommy there all the time anymore. That is fine. I encourage that. I want her to feel independant.
So, I asked Emma if what this little girl said to her felt insulting or if it hurt her feelings. She told me that it didn't hurt her feelings because she knows that this is how this little girl is...and she is used to it now. I HATE that she is used to it now. I hate that this little girl is out there not only bullying my daughter, but other kids as well. I hate that she is sliding through life at school doing this and absolutely nothing is being done to stop the problem.
The world has jumped on the "bullying awareness" bandwagon...there are posters about it all over the place including the halls of Emma's school....and yet 9 times out of 10 whenever i hear about these bullying instances...absolutely nothing is done about it...nothing is done to rectify the situation. In my opinion, there is a lot of lip service going on and zero action. How can we as a society expect the world we are leaving for our children to be any better than it is now? How can we expect it to be different when we are doing nothing to solve the current problems. We can talk and talk and talk until we are blue in the face, but unless the problem is taken seriously there will continue to be children that take their own lives or harm others because they just cant take the bullying anymore. It's time the world gets off of it's proverbial ass and actually does something about it.
Parents need to set aside their immature ways and realize that they are not helping the world by letting their children do these things...by encouraging this awful behaviour..by standing idly by and just letting it happen. You chose to have these children. You chose to give them life and bring them into this world. YOU have to chose to make it a good place for everyone!
Emma told me that she took no offense to being told she was just like me because she "likes being just like me." She said that she is happy that she is weird like me and funny and kind. She said that she would rather be like me than like this bullying little girl because she is probably sad all of the time and what kind of a life would that be.
So, while all of the ignorance in the world and bullying makes me want to become a hermit and shut out the world....ignore them all and stop talking to anyone..................I can't..........because I want my kid to be proud of me....I want her to continue wanting to be like me.....I want to be someone that she will always want to be like.

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