I think as parents...a lot of the time...we get caught up in our kids lives. We focus the majority of our time and energy on them. I'm not saying that's a bad thing...in fact I think it's the exact opposite...I think it's a good thing. We are raising little human beings that will one day take on the world and hopefully make it a better place. Spending our time and energy on them and with them is important and definitely a good thing.
As D-parents, I think it's magnified to a certain degree. We get so wrapped up in chasing that elusive perfect blood sugar. We conquer the impossible every single day. We raise our child's blood sugar meter in our hands and battle that ice cream cone...that birthday party...that afternoon of swimming. We raise our child's pen needles or pumps or syringes and we knock down every obstacle that life throws our way that seems to affect their diabetes and their blood sugar numbers. Their health and well being is of utmost importance to us...as it should be.
That being said, I think many of us lose ourselves along the way. We forget who we are sometimes. We have these labels attached to us...mom...dad...our child's pancreas. These labels carry a lot of weight to them and sometimes who we are deep down inside...beneath the layers we have created to take on this fight...is lost...it's crushed beneath the weight of it all.
It's hard to remember to take time for ourselves. Whenever people ask me what the one thing is that I would tell a newly diagnosed parent, I always say the same thing. Take time for yourself. Take time to remember who you are....who you REALLY are....deep down inside...not Mom...not D-Mom...not nurse or dietician or doctor or teacher or advocate or psuedo pancreas. Take time to be you....just YOU....even if it's only for 5 minutes out of the day. If we lose sight of who we are and who we were before this all began...before diabetes was thrust upon us...then we are setting ourselves up for sadness.
I took time for me today. Emma was swimming all afternoon at two different friends houses. At the first house, I sat on the deck and drank some beer and talked with her friends mom and grandmother. We talked about anything and everything. We laughed. We drank. We watched the kids have fun in the pool. I didn't think about being a Mom or a D-Mom....I was just Amy. Sure, I checked blood sugars and bolused for popsicles. Sure, I asked her if she felt low and did my typical psuedo pancreatic duties.....but I didn't think about it....I just thought about being Amy and having a few beers with some good friends on a hot summer afternoon. It was nice. It's nice to slip back into that old familiar space of......me. The weight of the labels was gone and it was just....easy. Emma had fun with her friends....I had fun with mine....and she walked out of there with a perfect 5.2 blood sugar.
Don't forget to be you everyday. Don't lose yourself. Don't let diabetes take that part of you away... you are amazing now BECAUSE you were amazing back then too. You are still in there. Take time to let the weight of those labels fall from your shoulders....and just...be....you.