While in the midst of my daily psuedo pancreas duties today, something occurred to me...we are pretty freakin awesome. Be it people who live with diabetes themselves...or parents of children with diabetes...we are awesome. We wake up every morning sometimes tired beyond all belief...and we still manage to function. Sure we have good days and bad days just like everyone else, but with diabetes along for the ride...it makes the day all the more challenging.
We wear our hearts on our sleeves. We put our best foot forward and we attempt to do the impossible every single day. We attempt to do a job that we were never prepared for...a job we never asked for...a job that can never be accomplished fully or perfectly or to our satisfaction.....but we still do it.
We get up every morning ready to try again...no matter how badly we think we failed the day before.
We attempt to decipher the ultimate secret formula to getting that ideal balance between food, insulin, and all of the other factors that play a role in blood sugars. We try day in and day out even though we know its nearly impossible. We keep trying even though we have failed countless times before. We keep trying even though the odds are not in our favor.
It's what we do.
We put our children's lives in other people's hands every day. We have faith that they will be fine. We have to...because without that trust and that faith and that hope, what would our lives be like? Full of despair...or ignorance...or denial?
We do these things every single day because we have to. It's a part of who we are and there is no denying it anymore. The person I was on June 25, 2008 no longer exists....I became a new person the following day. I became a new Mom that day. I learned how to be a part of this life and I began my first few steps of trying to make it work.
We may not be perfect...we may walk around with a zombie-like shuffle and a cup of coffee always in our hands, but we keep doing it. We may space out and have a glazed over far off look in our eyes when you are telling us a story or asking a question...but it's only because we are trying to remember if we wrote down the carb count for the snack we sent to school for our kid.
We make it look so easy sometimes that to the untrained eye....diabetes doesn't seem like a big deal. I have struggled with that thought many times over the years. I don't want to make it look easy. I don't want to perpetuate the cycle of misunderstandings about this disease. However, I don't want to be a complainer...I don't want to admit defeat...I don't want to make I seem like I am not in control of this or in control of my emotions.
It's definitely one of the many inner battles I have with this disease.
We are awesome and I don't think that we give ourselves enough credit. We attempt to do the impossible ever single day and that is an amazing thing.
So, to all my fellow d-parents and people living with diabetes.....I just want to say you rock. I tip my hat to you and please know that while you may never get the credit you deserve for what you manage to accomplish everyday......I know.....and I get it...and I think you are awesome.