So yesterday Emma and I had to go out to the mall to pick up a birthday present for a friend of hers for a party this weekend. As we wandered around trying to decide what to get, I kept glancing at Emma and asking her if she felt low. My D-Momma senses were tingling. I knew something was up, but I wasn't 100% positive. I kept asking her and she kept replying with an annoyed "NO, I don't feel low! I'm fine!" I should know by now not to ignore my version of the "Spidey Senses"....I should know just to make her test....but I am trying to give her more independence and trying to stop hovering and asking and asking and asking. A gift was found and as I was standing at the counter to pay, Emma looks up at me and gives me the old familiar, "ok, NOW I feel looooow!" Awesome....I knew it. So I hand her the meter bag and she tests right there at the counter...just like we have a million times before....and sure enough...low. So, she eats a Scooby Doo fruit snack as I am paying for our purchases and we make our way out the door and head to the grocery store in the mall to pick up a couple of things. It kind of hit me as we were walking. How many times have we done this before? I sort of felt like Alice wandering around Wonderland....knowing that I have done this before...standing there looking at my surroundings and feeling as if I am walking along that fine line between that old familiar dull sense of panic and normalcy.
As we entered the grocery store, my main goal was candy. It wasn't our usual grocery store, so I wasn't familiar with where everything was located. I felt like a hunter in search of it's prey......except instead of a jaguar seeking out that elusive gazelle......I was just a Mom....scanning the aisles for candy....for the quickest route to fixing the dangerous low she was currently experiencing...sugar. Thankfully the stores have out all of their Halloween candy, so I felt like I hit the jackpot when I found a huge box full of Nerds, Laffy Taffy, Runts, and other various trick or treat candies. I tore that box open feeling like a victor in the ultimate version of The Diabetic Hunger Games and tossed a couple of boxes of Nerds her way. We wandered around the store ever so slowly because I could tell she was struggling....her feet were betraying her...stumbling over each other...bumbling along. I wanted to stop right there and give her a minute, but she refused....the determined and angry look on her face made me sad and happy all at the same time. Sad because of what diabetes was doing to her in that moment......and happy to see that fire in her eyes...because in order for her to make it in this life, she NEEDS that fire...she NEEDS that anger...she NEEDS that determination...she NEEDS to not let diabetes beat her. So, we marched on....eating a low diabetics version of life support....candy.
We passed by an elderly couple as we made our way through the store. The man kneeling down beside his wife who was sitting on the floor. I remember thinking what a bizarre thing to witness out in public....why would she be sitting on the floor? Then I noticed the blood.....spatters of blood on the floor all around her...blood covering her hands...covering her husbands hands...pouring from the back of her head. This poor woman had fallen and hit her head somewhere. She glanced up at me as we trudged by and I saw the vacant and disoriented look in her eyes...she looked stunned...like she was in pain...not sure what the hell just happened. Employees of the store surrounded her and were trying to help. It felt like I was trapped in bizarro world. There we were stuck in our low blood sugar bubble...people frantically bustling about all around us...seemingly stuck on fast forward as we were stuck on slow motion.
As time ticked on, Emma's blood sugar came back up....the colour returned to her cheeks, the elderly woman received help..........and life continued. Such a bizarre and unfortunate event in our day....intertwined for just a moment with a complete stranger.