Tuesday, December 3, 2013

I just wanted you to know

I just wanted you to know that I get it. I understand you. I know the worry...the fears...the moments of panic, and the stress. I know what it feels like. I know how overwhelming it is and how some days you literally have to force yourself to get out of bed. I know what it's like to sit there waiting for the phone to ring. I know what it's like to feel your heart skip a beat when it does...and it's your child's school on the caller ID. I know what it's like to carry your phones around the house with you...even into the bathroom...because you have to be ready at a moments notice to run...you have to be ready to grab your keys and fly out the door to fix a low or correct a high. I know exactly how hard it is to send your baby off to school for the first time after diagnosis. I know the courage you have to muster. I know how it feels like you can't do it and you shouldn't do it. I know the argument you will have in your head as you kiss them goodbye and walk away. I know how every single fiber of your being...every single maternal instinct you have...every thought in your head is screaming at you that this is wrong...this is bad...this is dangerous...this is scary. I know it. I get it.....because I live it.

I just wanted you to know that I understand what it's like to be tired....totally and completely exhausted mentally and physically. I see you standing there at the kitchen sink...leaning against the counter...your eyes heavy...trying to focus on the number...always the number. I see you standing there...because I'm standing there with you. I know that you just want your kid to be healthy...and happy..and not be treated any differently because of this. I know that you will spend your days battling this disease trying to ensure that your kid can just be a kid. I know it. I get it...because I live it.

I just wanted you to know that you are strong beyond belief. You are special. You are made of the stuff that others only read about in books and fairy tales. You are that silent hero. I promise you that it can be done. I promise you that even on your darkest days...in the midst of your darkest hours...when you feel broken and battered.....know that it can be done...know that you can do this...know that you have the strength and the bravery and the determination to take that next step. You do. It's in you. I know it. I get it....because I live it.

Don't ever stop laughing. Don't ever stop learning. Don't ever stop loving.

These are the things which will get you through those moments where you feel like you can't go on.

I know it. I get it....because I live it too.


  1. Could you please stop making me cry? My fellow D friends post links to your blog all the time and just about every one makes me cry, whether happy or sad. We have to quit meeting this way! ;)

    1. LOL Awww! Sorry for making you cry, Candace! <3 thank you for reading my ramblings though! Hugs to you!

    2. An amazing post I know exactly how that feels and more. it is hard if not impossible for other people to understand and realize the reality of this disease and the toll it takes on all involved, but it is a labor of love.