Thursday, April 11, 2013

My letter to you...

Dear diabetes,

More often than not, you are a pain in the ass...but I'd like to take this chance to thank you. I want to thank you for teaching me that life is not only about the milestones you complete or the goals you reach. It's not about the price you pay or the number of times you have had it worse than the next person. It's not about who is the prettiest or the funniest....which is a shame...because I am seriously funny...I make myself laugh at least once a day. Thank you for teaching me that nothing that is worth it comes easy in life.
I owe you a lot actually. You have given me an incredible family that I otherwise would not have met. You have given me superhuman powers that enable me to know when my child is in danger simply by looking at her. You have taught me that it's ok to live in the's ok to take it's ok to leave the dishes piling in the sink and the laundry basket overflowing. You have shown me how to be humble. You have shown me that time passes very I had better take time to stop...pause for a minute...truly look at the world around me and notice it. You have taught me how to see the world around me in a whole new way. A compassionate way. A softer way. A more trusting way.
I've learned that there is absolutely nothing in the world that comes close to the tremendous amount of determination and perseverance that a person living with diabetes has. It's inspiring really. They make me want to be the best me I can be.
I also would like to thank you for teaching me some of the common sense simple things. I have learned to never pass up a good deal on AA or AAA batteries. I have learned that no matter how many years we have been doing this, and no matter how many nutrition labels I have read...insulin to carb ratios I have done....or combo boluses I have figured out....I still suck at math...I still hate it...and I still have echos in my head of my 12 year old self questioning when I was ever going to need to know how to do any of the math I was learning. I still hate math...and I have learned to live with it...every day...and somehow not feel defeated. I have learned that my iPad will eventually stop autocorrecting "boluses" to "blouses."
I have learned that not everyone gets it....and that's ok...I don't get everything they are going through either. I have learned to concern myself more so with the compassion and respect part of it. I don't expect everyone to understand us or get what we are talking about. I do hope that I can somehow inspire a sense of compassion in people though...and make them see that type 1 diabetes is not matter how easy we make it's that mutual feeling of compassion a human being can feel for another is of utmost importance.
So, thanks diabetes. Thanks for teaching me these past five years. Thanks for being there to show me that I am stronger than I ever thought I was and that even when I am staring your strong relentless ugly face square in the eyes.....and I am scared out of my mind...and feeling like there's no way I can do it....I still keep trying. Thank you for teaching me what it means to be relentless. I learned from the have taught me well and I know the day will eventually come where the student surpasses the teacher.
So, in the spirit of the most ultimate student/teacher duo that I can think of....wax on....wax off...buddy......wax on....wax off.

Hugs and kisses,

(D-Mom since 2008)

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