So yesterday morning Emma and I got up and went about our usual Sunday routine...breakfast, coffee, lounging about. I had been up the night before battling low blood sugars because Saturday was her first gymnastics class of the season and for some reason, gymnastics has a tendency to affect her blood sugars quite a few hours AFTER the actual class. So, needless to say, I was more tired than usual. I told Emma that I was just going to lay down on the couch for an hour and have a mid-morning nap and if she needed anything just wake me up. She is 8 now and more independent and doesn't necessarily need me to be hovering and entertaining her 24/7 anymore.....which I am extremely greatful for. So, I settled in all snug as a bug in a rug under my purple Snuggie and immediately fell asleep.
It felt like I had just blinked and an hour went by. I opened my eyes to see Emma sitting on the couch across from me, holding her meter bag in her hand, and putting a test strip into the meter itself. My heart instantly flew into a rapid beat making me think that this is what a teeny tiny heart attack must feel like. Instantly I felt sick to my stomach and the guilt washed over me like a cruel joke. How could I have slept? How could I have just laid there asleep and not been awake to see that my child needed me? I was totally beating myself up mentally. I sat bolt upright and asked her in a panic if she was ok....was she low? I was hovering above the couch about to run into the kitchen and get a juicebox for her when she said very calmly and rationally...."I'm fine Mommy, sheesh! I just felt low, so I got my meter and was going to check and make sure...then I was going to eat this fruit snack in the meter bag if I was low and just wake you up to tell you."
Huh.....simple as that. No panic...no ordeal...just another day in the life of a person with diabetes.
Apparently, while I wasn't looking, she grew up into a mature and responsible individual. She was playing. She felt low. She got her meter. She recognized and knew what to do to handle a situation that she will have to handle many times until a cure is found. She took charge. She did it.
It's a bizarre feeling to me. Knowing that she handled this particular situation on her own. I am proud of her...and yet sad. I have spent the last 4 years preparing her for things like this....teaching her...easing her into a routine...repetitively telling her and showing her the steps to take...the plan of action....with the hopes that it would sink in and be forever embedded in her mind. I always knew in the back of my own mind that one day she would be doing this on her own. I wanted her to be able to do them on her own. I want to give her the best life she can possibly have and in order to do that....she needed to know the steps...the rules...the routine.
I laid back down on the couch and forced a calm look upon my face. I tried to calm my out of control beating heart. I let her handle it. I watched her check her blood sugar, open up a Scooby Do fruit snack, tell me that she was 3.4, and eat the snack. I hated the low...I hated diabetes a little more in that moment....I still watched her...always watching her eyes for the low to disappear. I told her to look at the clock and see what time it was. I reminded her to watch and wait the typical 15 minutes to check again and make sure her blood sugar was going back up. We sat there in our little low time warp...waiting it out together. She rechecked and was fine. Emma zipped up her meter bag, threw away her fruit snack wrapper, and went back to playing.
I kissed her forehead and told her "good job, baby!" and reminded myself to never stop teaching her...never stop....even when she rolls her eyes at me and gives me the "I already KNoooOOOw!" replies.....never stop teaching her. Because inside my little 8 year old daughter lies the whispers of a grown woman...a grown woman who is learning to take care of herself...and she deserves to have the chance.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Please know the signs!!
What do you do when your heart aches at hearing of a newly diagnosed child? What do you do when the parent of that child is one of the kindest most caring people you know, but have never met in person? What do you do when that newly diagnosed child is only 8 months old and her tiny little body is fighting DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis....please take a minute to google that term if you don't know what it means)? What do you do to let your anguish out in a productive manner? What do you do to figure out how to justify this news in your heart?
You write about it. You tell people. You tell them how the only blessing in this utterly tragic news is that this Mom was already one of us.....she was already a D-Mom. She has already lived through this moment once in her life because her son is also type 1 diabetic. Does that make it any easier on her? HELL NO! Does it offer her any comfort? I would assume not. The only blessing in this news is that because she already lives this life...because she knew the signs...because she had enough education on diabetes and enough experience in it that she had the foresight to know that she had to check her baby girl's blood sugar..........she probably saved her daughter's life tonight.
Why does the medical community not treat diabetes as a serious life threatening thing? Why do they not hand out information to each and every single doctor to pass along to their new mother's and patients? Why does the general public think that this disease is not a big deal? Why do they think that it is something that can be easily managed with simply cutting out sugar from your diet and exercising? Why do they not spread the word of just how serious this disease is? WHY NOT?
Because of ignorance. Plain and simple. Ignorance.
How do you cure ignorance? Through education.
So this post I am dedicating to my amazing friend and her beautiful family....
READ this...SHARE this...TALK about it...TELL everyone you know...because there is one thing and one thing alone that is certain about diabetes.........IT DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE! It does not only happen to families that have a history of diabetes. It does not only happen to people who eat too much sugar or feed their children to much sugar. It does silently come into your house in the middle of the night and invade your child's body and throw every single thing you know to be true right out the friggin window. It could happen. It could happen to any one of you. It does not care who it takes. IT DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE!
The following list are signs and symptoms of high blood sugar that would be a very real and very good indication of type 1 diabetes:
*frequent urination
*unquenchable thirst
*losing weight without trying
*weakness and fatigue
*increase in appetite
*dry mouth or throat
*diaper rash that doesn't improve with medicated cream
*heavy, rapid breathing
Read these signs. Know them. Share them. You could save or help save someones life if you do.
The only way to beat this is to do it together! Know the signs!!!
You write about it. You tell people. You tell them how the only blessing in this utterly tragic news is that this Mom was already one of us.....she was already a D-Mom. She has already lived through this moment once in her life because her son is also type 1 diabetic. Does that make it any easier on her? HELL NO! Does it offer her any comfort? I would assume not. The only blessing in this news is that because she already lives this life...because she knew the signs...because she had enough education on diabetes and enough experience in it that she had the foresight to know that she had to check her baby girl's blood sugar..........she probably saved her daughter's life tonight.
Why does the medical community not treat diabetes as a serious life threatening thing? Why do they not hand out information to each and every single doctor to pass along to their new mother's and patients? Why does the general public think that this disease is not a big deal? Why do they think that it is something that can be easily managed with simply cutting out sugar from your diet and exercising? Why do they not spread the word of just how serious this disease is? WHY NOT?
Because of ignorance. Plain and simple. Ignorance.
How do you cure ignorance? Through education.
So this post I am dedicating to my amazing friend and her beautiful family....
READ this...SHARE this...TALK about it...TELL everyone you know...because there is one thing and one thing alone that is certain about diabetes.........IT DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE! It does not only happen to families that have a history of diabetes. It does not only happen to people who eat too much sugar or feed their children to much sugar. It does silently come into your house in the middle of the night and invade your child's body and throw every single thing you know to be true right out the friggin window. It could happen. It could happen to any one of you. It does not care who it takes. IT DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE!
The following list are signs and symptoms of high blood sugar that would be a very real and very good indication of type 1 diabetes:
*frequent urination
*unquenchable thirst
*losing weight without trying
*weakness and fatigue
*increase in appetite
*dry mouth or throat
*diaper rash that doesn't improve with medicated cream
*heavy, rapid breathing
Read these signs. Know them. Share them. You could save or help save someones life if you do.
The only way to beat this is to do it together! Know the signs!!!
Friday, September 7, 2012
My Diabetes Village
You know that old saying, "it takes a village"? In this D-Momma's humble opinion....truer words were never spoken. When Emma was first diagnosed, I thought that there was no way I would feel comfortable leaving her with anyone else. I thought that no one would be able to take care of her like I could. I thought that no one would be able to do it right...no one would be able to manage her diabetes as good...no one could possibly do it as good as me because I am her Mom. I thought that I couldn't trust anyone else to do as good of a job because they couldn't possibly love her as much as I do and want to make sure she was ok as much as I did. So, I shouldered the responsibility on my own (with the help of my husband, of course). It felt like I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. I thought that it was my responsibility...diabetes was my cross to bear...my path in life. I was her stand in pancreas and no one else would ever be able to understand that.
Fast forward 4 years.........
Emma is now 8. I have sent her off to junior kindergarten, senior kindergarten, 1st grade, 2nd grade, and now 3rd grade. I have sent her off to school for 6 1/2 hours a day, 5 days a week from September to the end of June...every single year. I have learned that I can trust the school. I can trust the staff. I can trust the teachers she has had. I can trust the students that are her friends. I can trust HER.
This school year is only 4 days in...and I am quickly realizing how blessed I am. We have quite possibly one of the most amazing teachers I have ever met. She is kind. She is funny. She is caring. She is smart. She is a Mom. She is a compassionate individual who is teaching my child about the world around her, encouraging her love for reading, teaching her math, science, social studies, spelling,....all of the required education for a 3rd grader in Canada. She is helping her transition from that little 2nd grade girl who is dependant upon others for direction and guidance and help...to that path towards independance. She is teaching her to care for others. She is teaching her that SHE is special...she is important...she is unique. Yesterday, she had the class bring in 4 items to share with the class that meant something special to them. Today she had the class draw names out of a hat and write a little note to the person the chose....just a little kind gesture to make them feel good...she called it "Thoughtful Thursday" and they will be doing this every week. I LOVE THAT! I love that she is encouraging this type of thing.
On top of all of these things, she is keeping my kid alive. She has been visible...been involved...asked questions...reminded Emma to test before eating...looking at her number...making sure she boluses correctly...called me with questions...forewarned me of upcoming events...gym days, field trips, daily physical activity. She is right there by my side. She is helping. She is doing all of these things out of the kindness of her heart, because you see....we live in Ontario. There are no laws in place here that require a teacher to be this involved. There are no rules that require her to help out at all...not in the slightest little bit...not a single thing. She does these things anyway. She doesn't get paid extra. She takes 2 min out of her extremely busy morning to monitor Emma's blood sugar checks and boluses.......and then she does it again in the afternoon. She is learning. She is asking questions. She is there.
I wish there were words out there to express how much she already means to me. Her smile...her calm voice...her desire to learn. When she told me that she is trying to appear calm about diabetes to Emma so that Emma will not be scared or stressed about it, I knew...I knew I won the lottery. We are lucky. I have a feeling that by the end of this school year, I will have a new friend for life. I will have another beloved member of my diabetes village.
Fast forward 4 years.........
Emma is now 8. I have sent her off to junior kindergarten, senior kindergarten, 1st grade, 2nd grade, and now 3rd grade. I have sent her off to school for 6 1/2 hours a day, 5 days a week from September to the end of June...every single year. I have learned that I can trust the school. I can trust the staff. I can trust the teachers she has had. I can trust the students that are her friends. I can trust HER.
This school year is only 4 days in...and I am quickly realizing how blessed I am. We have quite possibly one of the most amazing teachers I have ever met. She is kind. She is funny. She is caring. She is smart. She is a Mom. She is a compassionate individual who is teaching my child about the world around her, encouraging her love for reading, teaching her math, science, social studies, spelling,....all of the required education for a 3rd grader in Canada. She is helping her transition from that little 2nd grade girl who is dependant upon others for direction and guidance and help...to that path towards independance. She is teaching her to care for others. She is teaching her that SHE is special...she is important...she is unique. Yesterday, she had the class bring in 4 items to share with the class that meant something special to them. Today she had the class draw names out of a hat and write a little note to the person the chose....just a little kind gesture to make them feel good...she called it "Thoughtful Thursday" and they will be doing this every week. I LOVE THAT! I love that she is encouraging this type of thing.
On top of all of these things, she is keeping my kid alive. She has been visible...been involved...asked questions...reminded Emma to test before eating...looking at her number...making sure she boluses correctly...called me with questions...forewarned me of upcoming events...gym days, field trips, daily physical activity. She is right there by my side. She is helping. She is doing all of these things out of the kindness of her heart, because you see....we live in Ontario. There are no laws in place here that require a teacher to be this involved. There are no rules that require her to help out at all...not in the slightest little bit...not a single thing. She does these things anyway. She doesn't get paid extra. She takes 2 min out of her extremely busy morning to monitor Emma's blood sugar checks and boluses.......and then she does it again in the afternoon. She is learning. She is asking questions. She is there.
I wish there were words out there to express how much she already means to me. Her smile...her calm voice...her desire to learn. When she told me that she is trying to appear calm about diabetes to Emma so that Emma will not be scared or stressed about it, I knew...I knew I won the lottery. We are lucky. I have a feeling that by the end of this school year, I will have a new friend for life. I will have another beloved member of my diabetes village.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
It's ok
Sometimes I get tired. I get tired of the whole process. The talk...the routine...the monotony. It's just too much. It kind of borders along the lines of obesessing really. I know what you're thinking....how could you not be obsessive when it comes to a disease that affects your child's health and well-being...their life? It's kind of an oxymoron I guess. Sometimes I can easily put on my D-Momma cape and fight the good fight and advocate and be the voice and try to help others and be there for them as well as be there for my own family. Other times I just want to leave that cape in the closet, curl up on the couch underneath my purple Snuggie, and nap away the day. It gets to the point where I have had enough. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to do anything except what I absolutely have to do....check blood sugars, give insulin, and count carbs....be Emma's pancreas, in other words. I just lose that extra bit of oomph.....the hootspah is gone...I go on auto-pilot. It only happens sometimes...but it happens.
It's normal. It's all part of the process I think. When the doctor walks into the room and tells you that your child is type 1 diabetic...people first sympathize with you. There might be pity involved...people offering words of sympathy and comfort...trying to ease your stress and your pain...tears of sorrow for the loss of the life of ease that ended the day prior. As time goes on, people tend to move on....they lose interest...they stop encouraging unless they themselves are also part of this lovely club...they see you as having taken charge, mastered this life, made it work. They have seen your strength and they feel like there is no reason to offer up as many words of encouragement. So, there you are left on your own....with the DOC beside you for the most part....left to live this life...fight the fight every day. It's just expected of you. Sure, as time goes on it gets a little easier....the sting of the reality goes away a little. You are fully entitled to have those days though where you shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to talk about it...not wanting to hear about it...not wanting to do anything about it other than what is needed. It's ok to feel that way. This d-life isn't a straight and narrow path...it's not smooth and clearcut and obvious. There will be ups and downs. There will be moments of glory and there will be moments where it takes all of your strength to get out of bed in the morning. It's just the way it is. We just have to take the bull by the horns and realize that we can't all be positive and uplifting on the same days....we can't all be happy all of the time...we can't all be withdrawn and tired of it at the same time either. It's ok to be whatever you need to be on whatever day you choose to be that way.
Most of all, it's ok to feel however you are feeling on whatever day you are feeling it. It doesn't make you a bad parent or a bad person or even a bad pancreas. You are doing the best you can...and if on any particular day your best finds you on the couch napping and not thinking of or talking about diabetes at all the entire day.......then that is ok too.
It's normal. It's all part of the process I think. When the doctor walks into the room and tells you that your child is type 1 diabetic...people first sympathize with you. There might be pity involved...people offering words of sympathy and comfort...trying to ease your stress and your pain...tears of sorrow for the loss of the life of ease that ended the day prior. As time goes on, people tend to move on....they lose interest...they stop encouraging unless they themselves are also part of this lovely club...they see you as having taken charge, mastered this life, made it work. They have seen your strength and they feel like there is no reason to offer up as many words of encouragement. So, there you are left on your own....with the DOC beside you for the most part....left to live this life...fight the fight every day. It's just expected of you. Sure, as time goes on it gets a little easier....the sting of the reality goes away a little. You are fully entitled to have those days though where you shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to talk about it...not wanting to hear about it...not wanting to do anything about it other than what is needed. It's ok to feel that way. This d-life isn't a straight and narrow path...it's not smooth and clearcut and obvious. There will be ups and downs. There will be moments of glory and there will be moments where it takes all of your strength to get out of bed in the morning. It's just the way it is. We just have to take the bull by the horns and realize that we can't all be positive and uplifting on the same days....we can't all be happy all of the time...we can't all be withdrawn and tired of it at the same time either. It's ok to be whatever you need to be on whatever day you choose to be that way.
Most of all, it's ok to feel however you are feeling on whatever day you are feeling it. It doesn't make you a bad parent or a bad person or even a bad pancreas. You are doing the best you can...and if on any particular day your best finds you on the couch napping and not thinking of or talking about diabetes at all the entire day.......then that is ok too.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Well hello there first day of school panic!
Tomorrow will mark the 4th time I have sent my kid and her diabetes off to her first day of school. 4 times I have done this and while I can't honestly say that it ever gets any "easier" exactly....more so just different. I think it is really just the fact that I am so used to the panicked feeling that comes along with this process and this transition....that I have kind of just accepted it as being normal. I suppose in a way it IS normal....it's our version of normal.
That first time I sent Emma off to school was only a mere 2 months after she was diagnosed. I was in shock still...I was numb....I had only one thought in my head....if I don't send her to school now, I never will. I didn't ever want diabetes to be the reason for her not doing something. I knew that if I didn't wade through the murky waters of panic and stress and fear and just do it.......that I would never be able to do it. I would just continue to use her diabetes as an excuse....to make it ok in my head...to ease my own fears. I knew I needed to push through that sick feeling in my gut. I needed to do it for her. I needed to show her that her life is normal....even though diabetes had joined us on this journey. So, I walked her up the pathway to the kindergarten room, kissed her, hugged her tighter than I ever had, took her small little shoulders in my shaking hands and looked her right in her nervous eyes....I told her I loved her and I hoped she had a fun first day...and I would see her at lunchtime. She walked into class and sat down in the circle of kids that would soon become her friends....and I walked away. It felt like my heart would explode from my chest. It felt like I was doing the wrong thing. It felt like I was making a mistake. It felt like I was the worst parent on the planet. It felt like I was losing my mind. I walked away. I made it to my husband who was waiting in the car...I got in...shut the door...and cried. I cried out of sadness that my daughter was growing up. I cried out of the situation we were in with diabetes. But most of all, I cried out of fear....that gut wrenching panicked feeling that was choking me from the inside...that fear....a red hot firey stabbing pain in my stomach, my heat, my chest, my throat. I cried. It was all I could do.....accept our new life....and cry.
Here we are 4 years later. They say time heals all wounds. I would agree to a certain extent. Time has not healed the wounds of diabetes. It has not healed the panic I still feel on this night before her first day of 3rd grade. It has not healed the fear. Instead, time has numbed me. It has numbed me to not be AS panicked as I was last year...or the year before...or the year before that. It has numbed me to accept it. It has numbed me into realizing that if that panicked feeling was not in my gut right now.....then I wouldn't be doing the right thing. I wouldn't be a good D-Mom. I wouldn't care about her more than anything in this entire universe. Time has numbed me and made this feeling normal for me.
My heart and my thoughts are with all of you D-parents out there. Those sending your d-kiddos off to school for the first time with diabetes...those who have sent them off to school for many years now...all of you. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and want you to know that you can do it. You will worry...you will panic....you will breathe a sigh of relief when they are back in your arms again. You can do it! Diabetes has forced our kiddos to grow up before their time. It has made them see the world through eyes that are a little wiser. They can do it. You can do it. We will all be ok. We can do this!
That first time I sent Emma off to school was only a mere 2 months after she was diagnosed. I was in shock still...I was numb....I had only one thought in my head....if I don't send her to school now, I never will. I didn't ever want diabetes to be the reason for her not doing something. I knew that if I didn't wade through the murky waters of panic and stress and fear and just do it.......that I would never be able to do it. I would just continue to use her diabetes as an excuse....to make it ok in my head...to ease my own fears. I knew I needed to push through that sick feeling in my gut. I needed to do it for her. I needed to show her that her life is normal....even though diabetes had joined us on this journey. So, I walked her up the pathway to the kindergarten room, kissed her, hugged her tighter than I ever had, took her small little shoulders in my shaking hands and looked her right in her nervous eyes....I told her I loved her and I hoped she had a fun first day...and I would see her at lunchtime. She walked into class and sat down in the circle of kids that would soon become her friends....and I walked away. It felt like my heart would explode from my chest. It felt like I was doing the wrong thing. It felt like I was making a mistake. It felt like I was the worst parent on the planet. It felt like I was losing my mind. I walked away. I made it to my husband who was waiting in the car...I got in...shut the door...and cried. I cried out of sadness that my daughter was growing up. I cried out of the situation we were in with diabetes. But most of all, I cried out of fear....that gut wrenching panicked feeling that was choking me from the inside...that fear....a red hot firey stabbing pain in my stomach, my heat, my chest, my throat. I cried. It was all I could do.....accept our new life....and cry.
Here we are 4 years later. They say time heals all wounds. I would agree to a certain extent. Time has not healed the wounds of diabetes. It has not healed the panic I still feel on this night before her first day of 3rd grade. It has not healed the fear. Instead, time has numbed me. It has numbed me to not be AS panicked as I was last year...or the year before...or the year before that. It has numbed me to accept it. It has numbed me into realizing that if that panicked feeling was not in my gut right now.....then I wouldn't be doing the right thing. I wouldn't be a good D-Mom. I wouldn't care about her more than anything in this entire universe. Time has numbed me and made this feeling normal for me.
My heart and my thoughts are with all of you D-parents out there. Those sending your d-kiddos off to school for the first time with diabetes...those who have sent them off to school for many years now...all of you. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and want you to know that you can do it. You will worry...you will panic....you will breathe a sigh of relief when they are back in your arms again. You can do it! Diabetes has forced our kiddos to grow up before their time. It has made them see the world through eyes that are a little wiser. They can do it. You can do it. We will all be ok. We can do this!
One Step at a Time
When you wake and discover that the world is but a dream
When the light that guides you seems to leave
The days are short and the nights are long
never ending haunting you with a single note
of a long awaited song
When your sweet breath is trapped inside your chest
When the numbness of time sends shivers down your spine
Your mind is filled with a never ending loop
of memories past
moments shared
laughter erupted straight from your core
stolen glances across the room
quiet kisses shared in the silence of the night
a life that was lived as one
loved as one
forever entwined as one
Take comfort
find peace
the light will guide you home
hold you close
whisper a sigh upon your neck
place an arm around your shoulder
and carry you
one step
at
a
time.
When the light that guides you seems to leave
The days are short and the nights are long
never ending haunting you with a single note
of a long awaited song
When your sweet breath is trapped inside your chest
When the numbness of time sends shivers down your spine
Your mind is filled with a never ending loop
of memories past
moments shared
laughter erupted straight from your core
stolen glances across the room
quiet kisses shared in the silence of the night
a life that was lived as one
loved as one
forever entwined as one
Take comfort
find peace
the light will guide you home
hold you close
whisper a sigh upon your neck
place an arm around your shoulder
and carry you
one step
at
a
time.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Road trippin with the big D
The older I get, the more I am starting to realize that life is much happier and easier if you just go with the flow. You can't please everyone all of the time. You can't make everyone like you. It's impossible to always do or say the right things to the right people. This might come out sounding selfish, but I am learning that the only thing that matters is how you feel about yourself. If you can lay your head down upon your pillow at night and take comfort in knowing that you did your best that day.....that's all that matters. If you were the best YOU that you could be that day...if you are happy in your own heart and honest in your feelings and beliefs....than that's all you could ever hope for. Do your best. It's that simple.
Emma and I just got back from our annual road trip to visit my family back home in Wisconsin. Yes, it is stressful to drive 10 hours across the border, across a few states, across many many miles in a rental car. It is even more stressful to do this with diabetes packed along in the back seat. You can prepare, pre-plan, pack for double the amount of supplies you will need while you are gone...you can anticipate the worst case scenarios...you can play them out in your head ahead of time and try to think of a coherent plan of action to take if one of those awful situations should arise. Images of an emergency site change on the side of the road in Michigan fly through your head. Chuckling to yourself as you drive along and find your eyes immediately drawn to the big "H" road signs in every city you pass indicating a hospital is near. Mentally filing that information and that exit number away in your mind as you cruise along singing at the top of your lungs with your daughter to Mumford and Sons as the late summer sun shines down upon you. Diabetes does not come in a neat and tidy little package for you to store away in the trunk. It is more along the lines of hanging out in a plastic grocery bag full of holes and a torn handle....spewing garbage and crumpled papers all across the back seat. It is what it is. You can decide to take each high blood sugar as it comes and rage bolus to fix it....you can decide to fix each random low that occurs and be greatful as you stare at the aftermath of juice boxes strewn about the car. You can take the fast lane and make it work. You can hop behind the wheel and take charge. It's in you....it really is. No one has ever claimed that this life is easy...and we all know it....we want it to be easy...we want the smooth paved road in our travels...but that is just not reality.
So, we do our best....we be the best US that we can be. We put the petal to the metal and take it all in stride, because that is what we were put on this Earth to do. We each have our own path...our own road trip lies ahead of us all....and as long as we are honest and know in our hearts that we have done our best....everything along the way will be worth it...it will be another memory made...a memory to last a life time.
Emma and I just got back from our annual road trip to visit my family back home in Wisconsin. Yes, it is stressful to drive 10 hours across the border, across a few states, across many many miles in a rental car. It is even more stressful to do this with diabetes packed along in the back seat. You can prepare, pre-plan, pack for double the amount of supplies you will need while you are gone...you can anticipate the worst case scenarios...you can play them out in your head ahead of time and try to think of a coherent plan of action to take if one of those awful situations should arise. Images of an emergency site change on the side of the road in Michigan fly through your head. Chuckling to yourself as you drive along and find your eyes immediately drawn to the big "H" road signs in every city you pass indicating a hospital is near. Mentally filing that information and that exit number away in your mind as you cruise along singing at the top of your lungs with your daughter to Mumford and Sons as the late summer sun shines down upon you. Diabetes does not come in a neat and tidy little package for you to store away in the trunk. It is more along the lines of hanging out in a plastic grocery bag full of holes and a torn handle....spewing garbage and crumpled papers all across the back seat. It is what it is. You can decide to take each high blood sugar as it comes and rage bolus to fix it....you can decide to fix each random low that occurs and be greatful as you stare at the aftermath of juice boxes strewn about the car. You can take the fast lane and make it work. You can hop behind the wheel and take charge. It's in you....it really is. No one has ever claimed that this life is easy...and we all know it....we want it to be easy...we want the smooth paved road in our travels...but that is just not reality.
So, we do our best....we be the best US that we can be. We put the petal to the metal and take it all in stride, because that is what we were put on this Earth to do. We each have our own path...our own road trip lies ahead of us all....and as long as we are honest and know in our hearts that we have done our best....everything along the way will be worth it...it will be another memory made...a memory to last a life time.
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