Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Dear Emma

Dear Emma,

In a little over a week, you will be turning 10 yrs old. When I think about this milestone birthday, it makes my head spin a little bit. It feels like I just brought you home from the hospital yesterday. I still remember holding your tiny little body in my arms...feeling your warm sweet breath on my neck as I cuddled you close...kissing your soft cheeks...touching the fuzzy hair on top of your beautiful head. I remember just staring at you...all the time...I couldn't get enough. It was almost like I couldn't believe that you were mine. I sat there studying every little freckle...every little roll on your chubby baby arms and legs...the sparkle in your eyes. I knew you for 9 months as I carried you around in my belly...I felt every kick, roll, and hiccup....and then once you were here and I could lay my eyes on your face...look into your eyes...I REALLY knew you. All the days of my life leading up to that point were spent waiting for you...searching for you...holding my breath for the moment that I got to meet you.

We have laughed more times than I can count. We have made memories that will stay with me for the rest of my life. We have had our struggles...our tears...or worries....but we have lived. We have become more than just Mommy and daughter...you are my friend. You are the reason my heart continues to beat. You are my everything. You taught me what the true meaning of the word love is.

Time has flown by right before my eyes. You're no longer that little baby...no longer that little girl with pigtails that stuck straight up in the air...you're growing up into a beautiful and kind human being. You make me proud every single day. You are smart. You must have asked me a billion questions over the years...wanting to know how things work...why things happen...where things are...who made something...history, science, math, languages, art, the whole world makes you curious. Don't ever lose that curiosity. You are hilarious....in fact you are probably the funniest person I have ever met in my life. Don't ever stop laughing. Don't ever stop seeing the world through humorous eyes. It will make your heart happy through the years. You are kind. You care about people. You stick up for those that can't stick up for themselves. You root for the underdog. You are sensitive and you have a big heart. Don't ever lose that...the world needs more loyal and faithful people. You're a dreamer....and that is perhaps one of my most favorite things about you.

You are strong...stronger than I could ever hope to be. You amaze me with how you take everything in stride. You have never complained one time about all the needles. You have learned how to manage your diabetes at such a young age. It's breaks my heart and makes me infinitely proud of you all at the same time. You have endured moments of horrible pain...blood, headaches, nausea, your body shaking uncontrollably, moments where you have had to stop being a kid...stop playing...and sit down on the sidelines to fix a number. You've handled it...you've done what needed to be done to keep yourself healthy...and that gives me hope for your future. It gives me comfort knowing that you will be ok.

I want you to know that no matter how old you get, you will always be my baby. I will always look in your eyes and see that same sparkle I saw for the first time on Valentines Day in 2004. I will always hold you in my arms. I will always breathe in your beauty. I will always laugh out loud with you. I will always be proud of you...always...always...always.

I will always love you no matter what...because you are my heart...you are my love. You are the greatest thing I have ever and will ever create. I am blessed to be your Mommy. Thank you for making the last ten years of my life the best years I've ever lived.

Happy almost Birthday baby girl! I love you more than hearts and stars!

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