Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Step away from the edge

The 26th of this month will mark six years since Emma's diagnosis with type 1 diabetes. On one hand, it feels like a lifetime ago...I was a different person...she was a different child...it was a different life all together. I was naive to so many things in life. On the other hand, it feels like it was just yesterday that I stepped through the hospital doors with her tiny hand in mine...my heart pounding in fear...real honest fear...the kind that grips your heart in it's frozen hands and laughs right in your face as you struggle to put one foot in front of the other.

We did it though. We made it. We are still here.

If you had asked me six years ago if I could foresee a day where diabetes wouldn't always be at the forefront of my mind, I would've said no way!
If you had asked me if I would've thought that my kid would ever stop struggling and fighting and crying tears of complete fear before ever needle...every finger poke...every injection, I would've looked at you with hot tears burning my eyes and whispered no.
If you had asked me if I would ever feel capable and confident and like I could handle whatever diabetes threw my way, I would've laughed right in your face and sputtered out a maniacal NEVER!

And yet I say again....we made it...we are still here.

In a little over a week, Emma and I will be commemorating the day with a couple friends. I'm taking them ziplining out in the forest....80 feet in the air. I'm scared...she's scared...her friends are scared....but we are excited! Emma chose this activity because it's something she's always wanted to do....and who am I to stand in her way?

I know that I will stand behind her before she steps off that ledge to fly across to the other side...I will stand there and be in awe of her bravery. I will be in awe of her love of life...of living. I will be in awe of her ability to not let anything stop her...not even fear.

The way I look at it, fear is powerful. Fear is an emotion that can cripple you or propel you onward towards your dreams. Your ability to choose which path that fear will push you...is something personal to you.

When I walked through those hospital doors six years ago, I chose to let the fear propel me forward...I chose for her...because of her....because I wanted her to see from day one that fear is never an excuse or a reason not to do something.

Twelve days from now, when I stand behind my daughter and cheer her on as she steps off that ledge, I will be greatful for the memories we are making....I will be greatful and humbled and proud.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Thank you

To all of you out there that share your life experiences about type 1 diabetes with the world...thank you.

To all of you that raise what you can for JDRF or whatever diabetes related organization you choose...thank you.

To all of you that put on fundraiser after fundraiser year after year...spending your own money to set it up and using your own time to make it happen..thank you.

To all of you that make phone calls, send emails, go door to door, ask your friends and family or even complete strangers for a donation...thank you.

To all of you that walk, run, ride, or speak at any gathering for these charities...thank you.

To all of you that run camps every summer for our kids...thank you.

To all of you that post on social media, write books, blog, call a newly diagnosed family, or visit them in the hospital..thank you.

To all of you that take care of that special type 1 in your life...day after day...sleepless night after night...thank you.

To all of you that support, volunteer your time, or even simply drive around with a JDRF sneaker decal stuck to your car window...thank you.

To all of you that do what you can...when you can...no matter how big or how small...thank you.

It's not easy.

It's not always fun.

But it's always worth it...and it's always appreciated...and I will always be greatful...so...

Thank you.